Duty

Dad often reads to us in the evenings before bed. Family devotions and this time of family reading are my two favorite times of the day. We are presently reading a series co-authored by Janette Oke called The Acadian series. Dad is now reading the 3rd book to us, which is called, The Birthright. Josiah isn’t particularly thrilled with it, which I can understand for him. However, it is astounding to me how often the book has related to the situation I am in and how perfectly it describes the feelings and emotions I could not begin to put into words. It must be the Lord. I guess it is because so many partings take place as two families are torn apart and scattered in three places on the planet (just as in my case) that I can so perfectly relate to the longing, the sorrow, the fear, the questioning of the future and where God will lead. I find it a sort of healing balm for my heart, and the lessons learned are a guide for my future.

Let me briefly explain our book. Nicole was born to English parents, and Anne was born to a French family. Both baby girls were switched at birth during a war which separated them from infanthood until their late teens. English Nicole grew up French, and French Anne grew up English. In our book both girls have met their true parents and are getting familiar with them and the language and culture differences. Anne gets married, has a baby, and remains with her English family. Nicole, who was born in Acadia to English parents but grew up in Louisiana with the French, has recently discovered that she is to become the heiress of her uncle’s vast estate in England. Despite the fact that she has just begun to realize her past and who she really is, she leaves for the uncertainties of England and yet another way of living. She feels torn between longing for those she loves and her duty to her uncle. She is lonely, unhappy, and feels useless in a foreign place with foreign people. Yet, she knows it is her obligation to be where she is.

I like to compare my situation to Nicole’s. Though the situations are different, in some ways they are similar. Nicole feels torn between Louisiana (where she grew up), Acadia (her newly “adopted” homeland where she was born), and her duties in foreign England. I feel torn between New York (my homeland and birthplace), Holland (my adopted homeland), and my “duties” in foreign Florida. We both have loved ones scattered in three places of the world. Nicole is out of her comfort zone, and so am I. I can relate to her loneliness in a foreign country among strangers and her longing for those she loves so far away. Very soon I am going to make my home in a foreign land with people who I hardly know, being separated yet a 2nd time in my short lifetime from those I dearly love. And, yet, while Nicole feels bound by God’s call and a sense of duty, so do I.

In our most recent book, Anne, Nicole’s half sister who is grieving over the death of her young husband, has arrived in England to visit. In chapter 22 a conversation between Anne and Nicole takes place about the call of duty. It was in this chapter that we read the other night. The following are a few quoted paragraphs that truly struck me, and I want to remember them as I face my own future:

At some level, I think I’ve always assumed that when I found my place in the world, then I should be happy. Yet in all my searching of the Scriptures, I haven’t found a single instance where God promises this. In fact, nowhere is such a thing even request by His servants.

It has made me realize that all my life I’ve measured how well I was suited to a place by how happy it made me. Only now, as I learn my way through English society, I have come to see that, although happiness is a fine thing, it comes and it goes. So long as I base my happiness upon what I have or how life suits me, it will always remain fleeting. For as soon as something changes, as soon as a cold wind blows through my life, as soon as life takes an unpleasant turn, my happiness would be gone. But is this what I want to base my life upon? No. But to just say this, that I don’t want my life centered on what comes and then quickly passes, is far easier than making this actually the way I live or the way I manage my days.

My studies have shown me that I need to find my happiness in God, and in Him alone. By placing my life in His hands and seeking to live as He wants me to, I now have a peace that’s greater then whatever struggle I might face. My frustration and my difficulties, all these will pass. But He remains always. And it’s in His eternal promises that I must abide.

With each gift there comes a responsibility.

These words are so right and so simple, yet so deep! I’ve been thinking about duty. Duty--That simple word covers a vast plain and hardly touches the unreachable depths of its meaning for each individual person. Ecclesiastes 12:13 speaks of the general duties of each human being: “Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.” On a more personal level, what is my duty? In many ways, at least now, I feel that it is my duty to marry Russell. Fortunately, my “duties” are far more pleasurable than Nicole’s could ever be. =) Nevertheless, at this point in time, while I am frantically preparing to move my belongings and prepare for a wedding and a whole new life, I see my marriage as a duty. God told me to marry Russell and I must obey. It is my duty to leave everything. It is my duty to face a future full of uncertainties and the unknown in a foreign land with strangers. This is my duty. There are times I feel very glad to fulfill this duty, and then there are other times when I feel dread and anxiety. I compare my situation to that of other girls about to be married and I find myself dissatisfied with the results. While I observe the complete happiness of other girls, I think it strange that I should have feelings that are sometimes just the opposite. I think I should feel very glad, but then maybe not…

Who but Rebekah might understand? She left everything to marry a man she had never met. I have an advantage over her, for I have seen Russell 9 weeks and have had a 6-week preview of the place that will soon be my home. I wonder…when Abraham’s servant arrived with news that Rebekah was to be Isaac’s wife, what must she have felt? As far as I can see, the Bible gives no indication of her reaction. The servant wished to depart with Rebekah right away and return to his master, however Rebekah’s mother and brother wished for her to stay on with them longer. When summoned to answer if she would go immediately, she responded, “I will go.” The Bible does not indicate if she was excited, though, knowing the end of the story, we tend to imagine she was. But think again! How would you feel if suddenly a servant appeared on your doorstep to tell you you were chosen by God to marry a man whom you never met and to live in a far away country? Rebekah faced the most astounding and uncertain circumstances probably ever recorded in history, and yet, she replied, “I will go.” What do you hear in that response? I hear an answer that reflects one thing---duty. She knew what was God’s will, for the evidence was irrefutable, and she answered the call of obligation with obedience. What is so very sweet is the last verse of that chapter. Genesis 24:67 says, “And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her; and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.” God used an arranged marriage---what must have felt like a mere duty to fulfill on Rebekah’s part---and transformed it into true love.

Often it is easier to discern the future by looking to the past. My duty has always been to follow my parents. Doing so led me to Holland. Would I have chosen to be a missionary’s daughter? Never! Yet, in obediently fulfilling my duties, the Lord has truly made me content to dwell here, in a place where I never would have chosen to settle down. Isn’t it interesting how God honors those who fulfill what at first seem like grim duties and obligations and gives a lasting sense of fulfillment, satisfaction, and enjoyment in the end? Rebekah’s love story is an inspiration to me, for very soon I will be leaving everything, as she did, to meet my own “Isaac.” Thus, I conclude that I will fulfill my duties with honor and leave the rest to God.

May we all be able to give account for our lives with this simple answer, “We have done that which was our duty to do.”