Thinking back...

It was such a happy day... I wish I could do it all over again!

Leaving the Home I Love

These bears aren't the only ones to whom I said goodbye...

After a tearful goodbye to the Kamps on March 29, 2010:

"Why does there always have to be a heart-wrenching goodbye before there can be a joyful reunion? Will my life always be like this? It will. I know it will. But soon we will be joined together in Glory! I was packing in my room when I heard the Marshalls singing: 'My Father’s home of light, my glory circled throne. I left for earthly night, for wanderings sad and lone. I left it all, I left it all for thee. Hast thou left ought for Me?' I cried again. Jesus knows what it’s like to leave what you love for that which seems less desirable. My only joy is Russell. Other than that…well. Jesus knows what I’m feeling in my heart."

I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope. ~ Psalm 130:5

How can I hope to make you understand
Why I do, what I do?
Why I must travel to a distant land
Far from the home I love?

Once I was happily content to be
As I was, where I was.
Close to the people who are close to me
Here in the home I love.

Who could see that a man would come
Who would change the shape of my dreams?
Helpless now I stand with him
Watching older dreams grow dim.

Oh, what a melancholy choice this is:
Wanting home, wanting him.
Closing my heart to every hope but his,
Leaving the home I love.

There where my heart has settled long ago
I must go, I must go.
Who could imagine I'd be wand'ring so
Far from the home I love.

The Courting Carriage...uh...Computer

The Amish use a horse and carriage for courting...

...and others use ACER computers.

In memory of that old work horse, which carried us to each other across the many miles and then kicked the bucket just before Russell and I were joined on the same continent.

Thanks, you old ACER! You did a good job!

A year ago today...

...Something very special happened to me. Actually, it started several years back.
Let me tell you the story...

I was 17, and the date was May 12, 2005. In response to my heart's desire for a husband, God gave me a promise in Psalm 84:11. "For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly." Marriage is a good thing, as it says many times in the Bible. I knew God would reward me if I did right.

The Lord confirmed His promise to me once again in Romans 11:4 on December 18, 2006, when my heart was broken and I was convinced that not a single godly young man existed. "But what saith the answer of God unto him? I have reserved to myself seven thousand men, who have not bowed the knee to the image of Baal."

In January 2008 my parents gave me this painting for my 20th birthday. I call it my "Waiting Painting," because the girl looks like she's waiting expectantly for the fulfillment of her dreams...a special someone.

In October 2008 I met the young man of my dreams. Russell. Even before I met him face-to-face I knew I could love him my whole life long. After a week's visit with his family he went home, and I never expected to see him again, though in my heart I wished it to be otherwise.

All through November and December I desperately tried to fight off and ignore the feelings I had for Russell. God hadn't said yes, and I had already learned a hard lesson about leaning on my own understanding regarding such matters. Our hearts often lead us astray, so I knew I needed a definite answer from the Lord. What I didn't realize is that Russell had been praying about me for months. On November 7, 2008, the Lord told him I was going to be his wife.

Meanwhile, I was still searching for answers. Mom saw the tug-of-war going on in my heart. She encouraged me to pray and get an answer from God. So, on the night of December 27, 2008, I prayed and asked the Lord to show me if Russell was meant for me. I prayed 3 specific things:
1.) That God would give me a verse in the next couple of days.
2.) That it would be in my daily Bible reading.
3.) And that it would jump off the page and practically knock me over with its clarity. I wanted a yes or no. No maybe stuff.
Then I went to bed with perfect peace. It was all in God's hands. I let go.

Very early in the morning, on December 28, the Lord spoke to me in Isaiah 66:9. "Shall I bring to the birth, and not cause to bring forth? saith the LORD: shall I cause to bring forth, and shut the womb? saith thy God." I knew from that verse that God was preparing me...He was going to do something. The answer was coming.

What beautiful rays of cheerful morning sunshine warmed me on the morning of December 29, 2008, as I lay on my bed and began to read my Bible! The answer came that day in 1 Samuel 9:24. "...Behold that which is left! set it before thee, and eat: for unto this time hath it been kept for thee..." Those words seemed to stand 2 inches off the page. Those words were just for me. Those words were a "YES!" Those words...and the only person to fit them was...Russell. God told me that Russell was going to be my husband.

Now, one year later, I have an engagement ring on my finger. Those words spoken to me last year surely came to pass, as all of God's promises have come to pass and will come to pass.

Not only does God fulfill His promises, but He also gives us the desires of our heart...when we delight in Him. As a little girl I remember my mom telling me how Dad gave her a Bible when they met and fell in love. I always wanted my future husband to give me a Bible. The very morning God told me Russell would be my husband is the morning a package arrived in the mail. It was a late Christmas gift...a Bible from Russell to me.

On July 14, 2009, Russell asked to court me. We got engaged on October 23, 2009. Our wedding date is set ~ April 17, 2010!

God still speaks. God still answers prayer. God still reveals His will to those who earnestly seek His direction for their lives. Praise God! All the glory for this love story belongs to Him alone!

Read the full-length version of our story here: A Love Story Written in Heaven

Special Memories

I miss making him breakfast in the morning.

I miss listening to his voice as he read the Bible and prayed with me.

I miss sitting on the couch and messing around on our laptops, sharing pictures, talking, or just looking at each other.

I miss walking around the property and the good conversations we had regarding our family and future.

I miss cheering him on.

I miss his cute attempts to show off--watching him throw a basket and miss, which only gave me another chance to tell him that it doesn't matter...cause I'm already very impressed.

I miss running errands with him. (And having folks refer to us and our chaperone/s as a family. (chuckle)

I miss having him insist on opening and closing my car door every time we made a stop.

I miss him joining my family for dinner every night and seeing the faces of my dearest ones around one table.

I miss watching him "reload" a little boy's cap gun and turn a baby's cry to gurgling laughter.

I miss the long drive to my doctor appointments...when I would wake up from a short nap and find him smiling at me as he drove.

I miss shopping together at Target for our house supplies...having him teasingly "scan" me with the registry "gun" and tell me I'm priceless when no amount of $ showed on the screen.

I miss the time he tickled my face with a cluster of artificial flowers as we bought things for our wedding.

I miss texting him during the times we were apart.

I miss hearing his heavy footsteps on the front porch as he came to say goodnight to me after he got off work.

I miss him handing me his "cool shades" when the bright Florida sunshine was hurting my eyes.

I miss play fighting about the temperature in the car, because he likes it cold and I like it warm and we both want it set to please the other.

I miss him suddenly stopping during our walk to write "Russell Y Hannah" in the soft white sand.

I miss having him ask me if I need a cold drink during the hot, humid camp meeting week and fanning his flushed, moisture-covered face during the hours of singing and preaching.

I miss sitting by his side in church and hearing him "amen" and emphatically shout "Sure!" in agreement during the preaching.

I miss dishing out the last scoop of peanut butter fudge ice cream for him and having him feed me a big chunk of chocolate off his spoon just cause he knows I love it.

I miss walking on the beach and gazing off into a brilliant sunset with him standing by my side.

I miss the times he gave me his jacket because I was cold.

I miss a lot of things...but I'm glad that I had them to miss, because some people never get a chance to miss what I had.

If I never did have those special moments with Russell I wouldn't know what I am now missing out on...but I also wouldn't have the precious memories we made together!

I'd rather hurt from missing than miss the hurting because I never had anything to miss in the first place.

God is good!

Oma

Today it has been six years since Oma went to Heaven. I still remember that day. It is permanently etched in my mind. Dad was in Holland, and the three of us kids had just arrived home from shopping at Wegmans with Mom. The phone rang, and I answered it. It was Papa. He asked me if I was strong…if I could be brave. I knew at that second that something was wrong.
In my 14-year-old mind I couldn’t grasp the reality of death, even though we knew Oma was dying of cancer. How can the human mind conceive that the life of one you love so dearly can be snatched away? Death…it is so unnatural. It was never meant to be.
Mom got on the phone. We quickly took our macaroni-and-cheese dinners from the oven, and got in the van. Mom dropped us off at Aunt Erica’s house where our other cousins were being babysat. Pastor Craig and Mrs. Craig came to see us briefly and to pray with us. Dad flew in from Holland that night and was also there when Mom picked us up. We got home late.

I turned 15 the following day. And everything after that is a blur in my memory.

Now, looking back, I’m very glad that Oma’s suffering has ended, even though it was so hard to let her go. She is safely in the loving arms of the Lord. We will meet one day soon. I miss you, Oma!

This is a poem I wrote last year and changed slightly.

Thinking About Home

On entering those splendid gates of gold,

There are two dear faces I so long to behold.

The first is of Jesus, my Savior, oh see!

He died in my stead on an old rugged tree.

The second is of Oma, now Home for six years.

Her passing brought so many sorrowful tears.

I miss her much more than words could ’er say,

But never again on that triumphant day.

O happy reunion, I’ll hug her so tight.

Praise God, ’tis the very end of the fight.

For death will be conquered, the grave overwon.

Then we’ll all gather round the throne of the Son.

For the first time to hear the sound of His voice;

The thought makes my heart to leap and rejoice.

Forever in the light of His glory to be,

Sweet Heaven, oh beautiful land of the free!

~ Hannah L. Huussen

Rest easy, dear Oma, in the gentle arms of Jesus.

For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God.

Job 19:25, 26