The Modest Bride

The music starts. Family and friends sitting quietly in the pews stand in unison and turn expectantly toward the entrance of the church auditorium. The doors open, and there at long last is the bride! Holding her father's arm, her radiant face expresses her great joy. But wait! What is this gown she wears...?

The gorgeously soft, flowing dress of cleanest white is a portrayal of the bride's purity. When a Christian girl who has always clothed herself decently in the past walks down the aisle on her father's arm, her wedding dress should be consistent with her and her church's beliefs and worn in a way that continues to accentuate her chastity. Did the Bible make an exception for the bride to be immodest on her wedding day? Why is it then that Christian girls who have dressed modestly all their lives walk down the aisle in a gown that reveals too much? What a bride chooses to wear for her husband in the privacy of their home is their business, but the figure that was covered all those years should not be exposed before the entire church simply because she is about to be married.

Considered how the groom might feel. I wonder how many young men have been shocked to see the young lady they love, who has always been decent in the past, suddenly meet him in a dress that reveals her femininity, not only to him as her husband, but to the whole of the congregation as well. I have to think that, though the groom might appreciate it for himself, it would be offensive that his wife would share herself with anyone other than him. Not only might this be offensive to the groom, but also to those who did not wish to see what the bride has revealed and expected more than this from the young woman whose standards they believed were so high.

We know of one preacher in particular who will not marry a couple until his wife has seen the dresses of the bride and bridesmaids and deems them to be modest. Perhaps this sounds a bit drastic, but I think it is something worth praising God for! Why should the poor preacher have to avert his eyes from the indecent bride he is marrying before his entire church--those who know his stand on Biblical modesty? This causes a very awkward situation for the preacher who is then required to sanction the marriage of a bride who defies the church's standards by publicly wearing something that cannot be considered modest.

In searching the Internet for bridal accessories and comparing prices, I have come across bridal websites that say "Be the hot bride." Hot bride? When was it the bride's goal to look hot? I understand that this is the world's terminology, but when the wedding dress of a Christian bride is suddenly inconsistent with her former standards of modesty, this is compromise with a world that says the bride is supposed to look "hot."

A bride should look the essence of sweetness and loveliness. Marriage is a picture of the union of Christ and the church, His chaste virgin. Those who compromise in this area are corrupting a Biblical picture that has long been considered the summit of Christianity. Perhaps this is something that those of us who are brides-to-be should seriously consider. We have the great privilege of playing out this perfect picture of spiritual things to come entrusted to us by the Lord. May we please Him in everything...even our wedding!

Counterfeit

We know that Satan is the father of all lies and master of deception. Since the day he fell from Heaven he has made it his objective to manipulate the lives of all who inhabit his temporary kingdom, this place we call earth.

Counterfeit:
1. To make a copy of, usually with the intent to defraud; forge: counterfeit money.
2. To make a pretense of; feign: counterfeited interest in the story.
v.intr.
1. To carry on a deception; dissemble.
2. To make fraudulent copies of something valuable.
adj.
1. Made in imitation of what is genuine with the intent to defraud: a counterfeit dollar bill.
2. Simulated; feigned: a counterfeit illness.

Today we see all types of deception and fraud--counterfeits. For example, we are told there are many ways to God when, in fact, there is only one way--through Jesus Christ. From multiple false religions to fake money, which is another god of this world, we see all manner of counterfeits. Satan is the master of all counterfeit creations. His goal is to thwart our lives with imitations of the real thing God has so skillfully designed. Notice again “To make a copy of, usually with the intent to defraud” and “To make fraudulent copies of something valuable.”

This subject is so extensive that time would fail me to present and address every issue. Instead, I would like to focus on one thing, and that is the subject of relationships in the light of what is counterfeit and what is genuine.

Satan, for the most part, has this world totally deceived, especially on the most essential areas of spiritual matters and eternity. Once a person has gotten saved, the most important battle Satan tried to win has been lost. The eternity of every Christian is forever settled and sure. Our soul’s destiny is secured with eternal life, meaning the only thing Satan has left to tamper with is our short lifetime on earth. I believe all Satan’s vengeance is unleashed or will be attempted to be unleashed, for he realizes how little time he has to make us miserable before we will enter the everlasting joys of Heaven.

I believe that after salvation, the most important decision a person can make is who they will marry. You decided to spend your eternity with Jesus, but who will you spend your life with? For the Christian, our enemy has no control over life after death, but he is determined to make life before death as miserable and wretched as possible. I believe with all my heart that the issue of marriage is the devil’s favorite playground after spiritual things, because a marriage will affect the spiritual state of a Christian. Satan is the master of counterfeit creations. He is no dummy. Certainly he has some clue as to the future of each individual’s life, and he knows just where to place his road blocks and stumbling stones so we will fall and be destroyed. He knows our weaknesses, and he is determined to use them against us.

One common “weakness” we all have is the opposite gender. It often seems to me that the strongest Christians are the ones who have the least amount of discernment in this area…and I’ve seen Satan use this weakness over and over and over again. Many a godly Christian has been destroyed by the one they chose to marry. They settled for a counterfeit--an imitation of the real thing. God’s storehouses are overflowing with good things He longs to entrust into our care. Satan, on the other hand, has a different kind of store filled with second-hand junk he will readily pawn off on anyone who has not set their sights on God’s very best.

Think with me. You are granted the privilege of viewing God’s “map” for you, the blueprint of your life. Then you are allowed to glimpse Satan’s manipulated version of that same blueprint. I can guarantee you that if you compared the two, you would find that they look quite different, but only if you study the details. If you follow along the path of your life from your childhood and teen years to a marriageable age, I just bet you will find the name of the special person God has planned for you. Now look in that general area on Satan’s map. Do you see the name of a counterfeit or counterfeits leading up to that special name on God’s map?

I believe we underestimate our enemy. At different points in our lives I believe God allows us the opportunity of getting glimpses into His perfect plan for our lives through divinely ordained circumstances. I believe that God also allows us to see the stumbling blocks Satan has set up in hopes of our destruction. But too often we think we have it all together. We take one sweeping glance and casually walk on, feeling confident that we are well aware of Satan’s deceptions. We don’t take time to study the details. The Bible says that a prudent man foreseeth the evil and hideth himself, but the simple pass on and are punished. Those who don’t study the details of the blueprint are the ones who settle for the counterfeit instead of pressing past that point and reaching for a higher goal--God’s best.

Counterfeit money looks so real it takes an expert to determine whether it is worth anything. Remember the definition of counterfeit: “To make fraudulent copies of something valuable.” Satan is good at what he does. He will go all out to make his counterfeit look like the real thing. It is his highest aim to make a fraudulent copy of the very valuable spouse God created just for you! Only those who are in tune with the Lord and truly seeking His will above their own will be given the wisdom they need to differentiate between the replica and the genuine thing.

My dad knew he was going to marry my mom within minutes of meeting her. He knew she was God’s best for him. It was also during that time that a woman at my dad’s work set her cap for him. One day she threw herself at him, and my dad very literally threw her away from him. Guys from my mom’s past came “calling” again, and ones she didn’t even know were asking her out on a date. I find it so interesting that at this crucial point in my parent’s lives, Satan put my parents in strange circumstances just to see what they would do…what their reactions would be. Would they settle for something cheap, or would they refuse to obtain anything less than God’s ultimate best? Satan’s counterfeit is always easily attainable and won’t cost much at all. But to receive God’s best you have to endure a little hardship…a little waiting…exercise a little patience….a little self-control.

The devil has placed multiple counterfeits in my life to set me off the course of God’s perfect will for my life. They were all godly men…some appeared to be and some truly were, though still not meant for me. They generally all seemed to be good, but they were not the best that God had for me. They were look-alikes, but not the real thing. Now I’m so glad I never settled for a counterfeit, for they would have ruined my life. By God’s grace I’m pressing past the counterfeits that lined my pathway, and I’m reaching for the genuine, the best…God’s best.

I am reserved! That is a wonderful thought! Do you realize you are reserved too? God has someone who He created just for you--your perfect puzzle piece. But you have to battle your way past Satan’s counterfeit or counterfeits, whichever the case may be. I have determined to keep myself for God’s best. I have adopted the mindset of a married woman. I belong to the man God has for me. Others may not see a ring on my finger, but I see one there, for the rules and boundaries I have set in my life and the promise I made to God are as valid as a marriage vow.

A casual mindset is a very dangerous thing, especially in the days in which we live. Even in Christian circles we have casual standards which lead to a casual lifestyle. We see marriages crumbling all around us. There are many reasons. Most of the time marriages fail because they were never started right. It was lust that drew or forced couples to be married. God’s will should be the #1 issue when considering marriage. If you don’t have God’s stamp of approval, your marriage will be a guaranteed failure. You’ve got to have that three-fold cord. People casually enter marriage with the mindset that divorce is always an option, when marriage is a lifelong covenant. Once broken, God’s Word firmly states that, except in the case of death, marriage should never be entered into a second time. The commitment-eroding practice of dating is the main reason why folks so casually enter the marriage relationship and then divorce and remarry once, if not several times. We greatly lack the one-man woman or one-woman man mindset. Another reason why divorce is so common today is because people don’t make rules for themselves and their own safety…not to mention the safety of the yet-to-be relationship of their marriage. Casual thinking = casual standards = casual lifestyle. I have set certain rules or boundaries for myself to ensure the safety of my yet-to-be marriage. The bottom line is that what we do before our marriage we will most certainly do after our marriage. If you have a casual attitude towards the opposite gender before your marriage, you will have a casual attitude towards the opposite gender after your marriage.

As an example, here are some rules that either I have made for myself or my parents have made for me:

1. I don’t write guys regularly, except for business reasons. When I am married it would certainly not be appropriate for me to be writing any man other than my husband, except strictly for business purposes, of course.

2. I don’t call guys. It is never a girl’s place to call a guy unless they have a serious understanding. (Even then, I like the old-fashioned idea that the man takes the initiative and the woman lets him.) When I am married I do not intend to be calling men and talking for long periods of time as if we were best friends. My husband will be my best friend.

3. I don’t leave comments on the blogs of guys I don’t know. I’ve recently come to realize how forward that comes across…not only to the young man receiving the comments, but the young lady who will belong to the young man, whether she knows him at that point or not. It is like waving a flag and saying “You don’t know me, but I’m here…just so you know!” And since it is never a girl’s place to pursue a guy, that should not be happening. When I am a married woman I would not comment on the blog of another man. It would not come across right--to the man or to my husband. I would not want people getting the wrong impression, even if I mean nothing improper by it.

4. My personal information is not accessible to just anyone. As a married woman I would not want just anybody to be able to contact me by phone, email, etc., nor do I believe my husband would appreciate that either. It would not be guarding my marriage to allow strangers or others with wrong intentions to get a hold of me, especially at times when I might be weak and vulnerable to Satan’s counterfeits.

5. I do not initiate conversations or converse for long periods of time with men. If I sense that a male is too familiar in the way he looks at me or converses with me, I go out of my way to avoid him or am otherwise sure he knows by my coolness that there is no mutual interest. When I am married I do not intend to approach and then carry on long conversations with men. I would not want my husband to do so, therefore I won’t do it.

6. I don’t go around complimenting guys my own age. It is not proper, and even if nothing is meant by it, the guy could take it wrong. Guys and girls should not go around complimenting each other on their looks, etc., unless there is some sort of serious understanding between the two. It would be considered extremely improper for a married man or woman to address the appearance of the opposite gender. I would not want my husband complimenting anyone but me, and for that reason I will never compliment any man I don’t intend to marry.

7. I do not hold the gaze of men. Eye contact is an extremely personal thing, when you consider that the eye is the gateway to the heart. I am especially careful of not meeting the eyes of guys on the street. I could never have a relationship with a lost man, therefore I am careful to keep all doors leading in the direction firmly SHUT! A girl should even be careful of holding the eyes of Christian young men. Though they are Christians, and one of them could certainly be intended for you, you still belong to the one God has chosen for you. By holding the gaze of the opposite gender, a certain line is crossed and an invisible barrier is broken. Even if the Bible did not address the subject of the eyes and the heart being intricately connected, we know by instinct that eyes are powerful. As soon as we feel a particular attraction to the opposite gender, our eyes are ever searching to meet the gaze of the other. A few times I have quietly observed couples, either married or engaged to be married, and I could not describe to you the silent messages of love that passed between the two as their eyes were fixed on each other. Our eyes can reveal things that we would never dare say with words. Avoiding eye contact is often viewed as a weakness or insecurity, but I believe it is a safety precaution every Christian, married or unmarried, should exercise. The heart is reached by the gate of the eye. By allowing someone to gaze into my eyes, I am giving them access to my heart. The only one who should have access to my heart is my husband, therefore I will not allow anyone of the opposite gender look into my eyes for too long before dropping my gaze or occasionally looking away. I am keeping my eyes and any messages my eyes might reveal only for my husband.

8. I do not share the deepest secrets of my heart with my friends. How often have we come to the sad realization that friends are untrustworthy? A young man or woman should confide only in parents or others who are older and have more wisdom and will give good counsel. God has given me parents in whom I can confide. And one day I will confide in my husband as I once confided in my parents. My parents are temporarily playing the role of my husband. When I am married I would never confide in another male friend, for doing so would break the hedge that should surround married couples. Since I do not intend to share my deepest thoughts and secrets with another male companion once I am married, neither do I confide in my friends, but instead I confide in my parents who represent my husband.

Several weeks ago I was at the salon having my hair cut. As we conversed, the woman cutting my hair suddenly asked if I had a boyfriend. Then she half-teasingly, half-seriously said that she shouldn’t ask that, seeing as my mom was only a few feet away and could hear our whole conversation. I felt embarrassed even entertaining the thought of what she was implying and that I would keep something of such importance from my parents. As kindly as possible, but with an unwavering firmness, I told the woman that, first, I don’t have a boyfriend, and secondly, I talk with my mom about everything. We don’t have secrets. I think she was shocked upon hearing that, and after the shock passed I got the faint impression that she was envious of the open relationship I have with my mother…though she would never have admitted it.

You see, this insane world teaches us that parents are the enemy and it is only in our friends that we should confide. And in the same way, Satan is determined to have married couples having close and too familiar relationships with the opposite gender so that the precious marital relationship will be destroyed by a lack of communication and, therefore, a lack of trust. I tell my parents about my hopes and dreams, as I will one day communicate those intimate thoughts and feelings to the man I marry.

These are just a few boundaries I have set for myself and the protection of my yet-to-be marriage. I’m sure there are others I haven’t addressed, but for the sake of being brief, I will have to stop here.

What are you doing to protect your marriage before it gets a start? The sad thing is that most people really don’t even care. They are going to do what they want, regardless of what is right and regardless of what is for their own good. The world has taught us to do what feels good and to live for the present, when God tells us to do what is right and live for the future! Today I see girls who don’t give a rip about God’s will. Manipulating and conniving, they push their own will through. They are determined to get the guy they want and nothing will hinder them in their quest. I am reminded of the wicked woman of Proverbs who hunts for the precious life. There is nothing godly about it, no matter how innocent one may wish to make it appear. “Christian” girls have lost their shame, as is quite apparent by their bold actions and presumptuous words or implications and sly suggestions. Today little whores fill the house of God, with the pretence of holiness, while their objective is to seduce young men who are trying to follow the Lord. (If you heard the stories I have, you would realize that the strong term used is extremely accurate.) It is bad enough that men struggle when they are out in the world. The church should be a haven of rest from the seductive hounding outside the church walls…but it is not. Woe, woe, woe to these wicked girls! And woe to their parents! Obviously mothers have taught their daughters nothing in the area of how a girl should behave around young men. And apparently fathers are blind and have no authority in their homes, otherwise they would restrain their rebellious daughters. I have to seriously wonder about the parents of these little “sanctified” whores in the church. They are getting their examples from somewhere--whether from the wrong friends, from TV and magazines, or maybe even from their own parents. The bottom line is that parents are preoccupied with their own lives and aren’t exercising their parental authority. God will hold these parents accountable on the day of judgment. And what a FEARFUL thing that will be!!!

I often cringe to think how deceived we are about ourselves. How many of us, while thinking we are right with God, are, in fact, walking in rebellion to God’s ways? We look at others with condemnation while justifying our own evil deeds. We would do well to examine ourselves and check our motives. Our hearts are deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. Perhaps God will bring something to light that we might be wholly righteous before Him and not be as the hypocritical Pharisees.

As young ladies, we hold in our hands the power to build or destroy a man. That power should never be underestimated. Satan has certainly taken every opportunity to use feminine power to corrupt the minds and lives of men and boys alike. “By means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread.” (Proverbs 6:26) As Christian girls we should also take advantage of the influencing power God has granted us and use it to encourage and strengthen our brothers in the Lord. A Christian girl has no business dressing or acting like a whore. We should not fall for Satan’s counterfeit, neither should we allow ourselves to be used as a counterfeit to cause someone of the opposite gender to stumble. Do you love your yet-to-be marriage enough to protect it? I encourage you to search your heart and examine your motives. Don’t be a counterfeit, and don’t settle for a counterfeit. God has someone special for you! Wait on the Lord!

Why Women Cry

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him. "I don't understand," he said. His mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will." Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?" "All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. Finally he prayed one day, "God, why do women cry so easily?"
This was God's reply:

"When I made the woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never intentionally hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart--the place where love resides."

Author unknown

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I read this today and thought it was cute. Women will never understand men, and men will never understand women. Goodness, sometimes I don’t even understand myself! Lately I’ve felt like crying at the drop of a hat, which makes me frustrated with myself, because I didn’t used to be so emotional/moody. Anyway, sometimes it just helps to cry, even when we don’t know why we are crying. I guess God just made women like that. I like this: “I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed.” Tears really are a sweet relief! So, even though this sounds like an odd thing to be thankful for, thank God for tears! =)

Ladies and Gentlemen

“Ladies and Gentlemen…” This is a phrase regularly used in speeches, yet I greatly fear that we do not comprehend the meaning of the words, for today there are so few true ladies and even fewer gentlemen!!! There was once a time when it was customary for a man to act like a gentleman and a woman to act like a lady. Today we marvel when some act of politeness is done or a kind word is spoken or a child behaves well in public.

As a girl who notices these things, I really have to be honest and admit that I know few gentlemen. For that matter, I know few ladies. Like the lost art of building cobblestone houses, somewhere along the way we have lost the ability to raise ladies and gentlemen. I, for one, love to be treated like a lady, but I realize why girls are not treated like ladies.
One can spot a lady at first glance. Today I look around and see silly, giggling, half-dressed girls parading about in skin-tight tight jeans and skimpy shirts and filthy-minded, lusting boys. This is a two-way street. BOTH parties are guilty!

It is interesting to note that manners were prevalent in the days when women wore clothing that covered the body--not exposed it. (Pants expose the body!) A woman who wishes to be treated as a lady should dress like a lady and act like a lady and talk like a lady. The reason why men may generally treat women like trash is because women generally dress, and therefore act, like trash. If women would respect themselves enough to cover themselves, men would respect the fact that women respect themselves and act accordingly--with respect!!! In many ways the reason why men do not act like gentlemen today is not solely the fault of the male population, but of the females!!!

“The more you act like a lady, the more he will act like a gentleman!”

There is another reason, I believe, why men do not act like gentlemen. God gave men strong arms so they could open big doors and carry heavy boxes. Rarely do I have the pleasure of a gentleman holding the door or “rescuing” me when I’m carrying a heavy load. I personally think men are afraid that if they do help a lady, she will immediately assume that he “likes” her. It is wrong for ladies to make that assumption simply because one of the few, almost-extinct gentlemen out there is alert enough to come to their aid. On the other hand, I totally understand why a lady would think this, because it often appears that the only men willing to help are those who have ulterior motives--they do like the girl and are seeking to impress her. This is wrong!!! A gentleman should be a gentleman, not for his own personal gain, but because it is the right thing to do.

I found this list of manners for gentlemen. Neat stuff!

1. Gentlemen have respectful attitudes which lead to respectful actions and words. They greet people with a smile, nod, or “hello” as they pass people. Their attitude is one of putting others first, based on The Golden Rule, to treat others the way they would like to be treated.


2. Gentlemen use respectful words: “Please,” “Thank You,” “You’re Welcome,” and “Excuse Me.” Instead of “What?” and “Huh?” they say “Pardon me?” or “I’m sorry?” They say “Yes, Ma’am” and “No, Sir” respectfully. They never use cursing or cussing words. Gentlemen also have the courage to use difficult words like, “I’m Sorry,” “I made a mistake,” and “Will You Forgive Me?”


3. Gentlemen open doors for Ladies and allow them to pass through first, saying, “After you!”


4. Gentlemen walk a Lady to the car and open the car door for her.


5. A Gentleman offers his seat to a Lady. Gentlemen should offer their seat to their elders or pregnant women in crowded buses or waiting rooms. A gentleman sacrifices his own comfort for the comfort of a lady. Never be seated until your mother is seated.


6. A Gentleman helps a Lady (his wife) put on her coat or sweater. He also offers to help carry heavy packages for a lady. Children offer to carry the bags for their mothers. If the lady drops something, the gentleman will pick it up for her.


7. Gentlemen stand when a Lady enters the room or when he is introduced to someone.


8. Gentlemen seat a Lady at the dinner table before they seat themselves. They rise when ladies excuse themselves and when they return. The gentleman takes care of the lady to his right.


9. The Gentleman protects a Lady from danger. He walks on the curb side of the road as a courtesy of protection and to keep the lady from getting splashed by puddles. He also stands behind a lady on an escalator going up; and in front of her going down to protect her from falling.


10. A Gentleman will never EVER hit or hurt a Lady. A boy must never hit or hurt a girl, but rather use his strength to protect a girl.

I’d like to make a few comments in regards to Rule #2:
Gentlemen also have the courage to use difficult words like, “I’m Sorry,” “I made a mistake,” and “Will You Forgive Me?”
This world somehow has the warped thinking that if a man admits that he is wrong he is less than a man. I totally disagree!!! A girl will only respect a man who can admit when he is wrong!!! I am a girl, and I would know! This is a principle I have seen in my dad. When he is wrong he comes to me and admits it and asks me to forgive him. That only makes me love and respect him more!!! A man who cannot admit his failures has a serious heart problem! It’s called pride.

“A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings intentionally.”

I really like Rule #10:
A Gentleman will never EVER hit or hurt a Lady. A boy must never hit or hurt a girl, but rather use his strength to protect a girl.
While looking up some things about gentlemanly behavior I came across this quote: “A gentlemen is one who never strikes a woman without provocation.” WRONG! A gentleman is one who never strikes a woman even with provocation. (Ladies can work along with this by acting like ladies, which means never shouting or screaming or acting like a brawling woman. “A soft answer turneth away wrath.” Remember: The more you act like a lady, they more he will treat you like a lady!) A gentleman is one who NEVER strikes a woman for any reason whatsoever! A gentleman is one who can control his anger, whether a person is deserving of it or not. Only coward uses brute force! Proverbs 16:32 says, “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.” A gentleman is a man who never touches a lady or a girl except to show love and kindness.

“My boy,” said a father to his son, “treat everybody with politeness, even those who are rude to you; remember, you show courtesy to others, not because they are gentlemen, but because you are one.”

What do you see in your mind’s eye when you hear the word “gentleman”? A man sitting cross-legged with a cup of tea and his pinky in the air? No!
When I hear the word gentleman I picture a man, not necessarily tall or dashingly handsome, but a man of character. A man who knows when to be tough and when to be tender. A man who can laugh and cry. A man who will admit when he’s wrong. A man who can cook and clean when it is necessary and doesn’t feel that his manhood is threatened or his reputation is at stake. A man who can tenderly cradle a baby, and with the same strong arm can protect and defend if the need arises. A gentleman is a man who won’t let majority opinion sway his firm beliefs and convictions even when they aren’t popular. A gentleman is one who can control himself, his mind and his actions. This man will not only provide for the physical needs of his family, but will also lead them emotionally and spiritually. He is a man who loves God above all others. This man is a gentleman!

“A gentleman is one who puts more into the world than he takes out.”

The Virtuous Woman

By Mina Oglesby

She may not be dressed in the latest of style
But feel how you glow in the warmth of her smile
She’s blessed with compassion and faith of a child
A virtuous woman she is

A virtuous woman so rare to behold
Her price more than rubies, far greater than gold
Her favor or beauty you might not recall
But the virtuous woman excellest them all

She seeks after wisdom and works with her hands
Her husband and children can trust all her plans
Her courage is great for life’s many demands
A virtuous woman she is

“For who can find a virtuous woman? Her price is far above rubies. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.”

She trusts in her Saviour and feeds on His Word
Each detail of living her prayers undergird
And though she has problems they’re working for good
A virtuous woman she is

A virtuous woman so rare to behold
Her price more than rubies, far greater than gold
Her favor or beauty you might not recall
But the virtuous woman excellest them all

Ladies’ Fellowship

We had a (church) ladies’ fellowship at our house today. Mom, Lydia, and I made all the food; we had fun! Morena arrived at 11:00 a.m. and Susanna and Odia arrived shortly thereafter. Unfortunately our other ladies had previously scheduled obligations. It’s too bad they missed out.

Odia brought homemade chocolate, and Susanna gave Lydia and I each an adorable lamb stuffed animal--one tan and the other white. Too cute! She told us to fight out who got what, so Odia decided to help us out. She put them behind her back and had us call her right or left hand while Lydia’s and my eyes stayed shut. I got the white one. I love it! I have this thing for stuffed animals. =)

We started out by drinking tea and talking some. Conversational topics ranged from chocolate (ha, ha!) to school, to a Bible discussion, to modest clothing, to babies and children.

Lydia made asparagus soup as an appetizer, then for lunch we had tuna salad, antipasto salad, a vegetable tray, and an assortment of various crackers. Black-bottom cake topped off the meal. Yum!

Besides eating a lot of yummy food and getting some good fellowship, we also found time to watch a 45 minute movie about Fanny Crosby. Though blind, she was the writer of 10,000 hymns. That was a blessing! What an amazing woman! I guess she was an amazing woman because she served an amazing God and allowed Him to take complete control of her life. Any woman longing for true honor will dedicate herself wholly to Jesus Christ, for it is He alone who bestows honor that lasts. Look at the “famous” movie stars; as soon as their outward beauty is lost with age, their fame also vanishes away. People forget. God, however, highly esteems the virtuous woman, despite old age or lack of beauty. What truly matters in life is this: God’s Word tells us that “the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7). Fanny Crosby was not an attractive woman, physically speaking, yet in her soul lay a treasure of beauty beyond description. A small portion of that can be seen in the touching words of her hymns. “She hath done what she could,” the words spoken by Jesus about Mary Magdalene found in Mark 14, were engraved on Fanny Crosby’s tombstone. I was reminded of that beautiful song sung by the Marshall family entitled “She Hath Done What She Could.” Truly, “favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised” (Proverbs 31:30). Fanny Crosby is an inspiration to me in so many ways. I look forward to meeting her in Heaven.

Well, we did some talking about the movie afterwards. I believe our ladies really enjoyed it. I sure did; it was my second time watching it, and I liked it even better having seen it twice.

It was nearing 4:00 p.m. when Morena decided she needed to leave. David, Susanna’s husband, was going to pick Susanna and Odia up, but they decided it would be best to just leave with Morena and save David the half-hour trip to our house. I think both ladies were hesitant to go. We should definitely do this more often. We ladies don’t really get to fellowship much at church in between children interrupting or needing this or that. I know the guys tease us about needing time to talk, but we all know who does most of the talking. Ha, ha! =) I think men just say that to cover themselves. Sort of like the “I was waiting for YOU!” statement. Ha, ha! =) Anyway…

Mom, Lydia, and I waved our guests off, feeling very glad we could enjoy each other’s company. God is good! =)

(Double-click photos to see enlarged.)

Pink triplets! Left to right: Mom, me, and Lydia.

The little lambs from Susanna. Aren't they cute?

Beautiful Morena! (She and I share many jokes together, and this is one of them. It's a long story. =) I love Morena. Pray for her. She doesn't have it easy caring for three kids without a husband.

Susanna (left) and Odia (right). They are sister-in-laws and are true characters when together. I dearly love both of them. They had us cracking up.

The food. Yummy! Nice and colorful, that's for sure!

Sitting around in the living room. I had to run upstairs for something. Descending the steps I wondered why it was so quiet. As I peeked around the corner I saw everyone quietly eating their cake. Ha, ha! I guess they were intently savoring it.

Dear Princess

Several weeks ago I finished up a great girls’ devotional, Dear Princess, written by a Mennonite woman. It really is an excellent book to help girls develop a beautiful, godly character. I’ve gleaned so much from this book, as I have read it for part of my devotions every morning and have tried to apply it to my life. I would certainly recommend it for young ladies!

I would like to point out a few things, however, that could become a problem. Being a Mennonite, Mary M. Landis believes in head-coverings. Some Christians have discovered this erroneous “doctrine” and put it into practice in their own lives. I wasn’t going to write about this, but since the subject has recently come up in our church, I thought I’d go ahead anyway. It seems to me that Christians love to quibble about things that really don’t matter. I’d like to talk about some things I’ve taken note of.

First off, some people say head-coverings are Biblical. Okay, Bible women are often portrayed in pictures with long mantle-like cloths over their heads. This was required according to Jewish Law. Note that this was Jewish Law--not Biblical Law; there is a very clear difference between the two, and they should not be confused (Titus 1:14). These Jewish mantles totally covered the head so that only the face was visible. Folks who believe in head-covering usually cover their heads with a little piece of cloth, really only covering their hair, which God says is the woman’s “glory” (1 Corinthians 11:15). If we are going to do this right (according to Jewish Law), then we really should be wearing more than a little head cloth. What is considered a typical head-covering today is neither Biblical, nor is it correct according to Jewish Law.

For some reason, Christians believe a head-covering is only needed in church. This is another thing I don’t understand. Head-coverings are supposedly supposed to show the woman’s submission to her husband and God. Is the woman only commanded to be in submission to her authority during the span of a church service? What about the rest of the week? If the head-covering is a true indicator of the woman’s submission, then a Christian woman ought NEVER, EVER to take it off! That means she must wear it even while washing her hair and when sleeping! Why would God have commanded a woman to wear something symbolizing something so very essential when she would have to remove it for daily living?

To be honest with you, I’m really not sure where Christians pull the head-covering idea out of the Bible. At times you would think Christians simply enjoy being contentious. Paul could not have been more clear in 1 Corinthians 11:15 if he had spelled out the words “NO head-covering needed.” “But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.” How can it be any more plain?

While some Christians make a big deal about head-coverings, other things truly important to the Christian life are sadly neglected. While some folks insist on straining over a gnat, the elephant-sized issues are totally ignored--things like daily quiet time (both personal devotions and family devotions), faithful church attendance, the wise spending of God’s money, tithing, soul-winning, getting our children saved, disciplining them…the list goes on and on. Let’s not major on the minor and minor on the major. I personally think people focus on the insignificant things, like head-coverings, so they can side step these things--that which really matters to God. If we are going to be holy, let’s really do it, and not just pretend. That’s what the Pharisees did, and Jesus sharply rebuked them for it.

People believe head-coverings symbolize submission. Let’s ask ourselves a few questions: Are we truly in submission to God? Do we really understand what submission is? Do our children understand what submission is? A child can’t understand a head-covering; after all, it’s just a piece of cloth. What a child does understand is how her mom responds to dad’s “commands” or requests. She understands the spirit of submission when mother happily complies without shouting and a big fuss. Mothers would be wise to invest the time it takes to put a head-covering on into making sure their little girls really understand what submission is by seeing it in action. Daddy is submissive to God. Mommy is submissive to daddy. Little girls are supposed to be submissive to mommy and daddy as they are submissive to God. Any woman can put a head-covering on, but not every woman wisely takes the time to teach her little girl to be submissive to her daddy so she will one day be submissive to her husband. Let’s major on that which is major!

Several years ago my family and I were visiting a church in the States during furlough, trying to raise more support. To our great discomfort, the church also had a country gospel group in. We were seated in the front row, right in front of these folks as they sang words (I’m sure they were good words, although I couldn’t hear them above the din of the “good, Christian” music accompanying them) to the wretched beat of the world’s music. To be frank, it was disgusting. After each song, the congregation clapped wildly. (I thought a special was sung for God’s glory--not for the glory of those “performing”? I’ll spare you the music spiel.) The one girl singing in the group was wearing a nice dress; I would have found it impossible to believe her music could be so…so godless. What I found almost humorous about this whole picture was that the girl wore a head-covering. Was the music she sang and her performance “on stage” showing her submission to God? No, on the contrary, for the music was anti-God, though the words were an attempt to please Him. This is a perfect example of how a woman can wear a head-covering and not be right with God according to His standards.

Another thing I want to point out about Dear Princess is that the Mennonites believe that any lace or ribbons (adornment) on a dress or even curling one’s hair is sinful. They get this from 1 Peter 3:3--“Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel…” The next verse continues, “But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.” Paul is stressing the importance of the attitude, not the appearance. He isn’t saying we should not look nice (use jewelry, wear clothing with lace and ribbons, braid our hair, etc.). While many Christians could use some help in the modesty department, the Mennonites believe in simple dress. I do respect this, though this verse should not be taken out of context. If we took 1 Peter 3:3 literally we wouldn’t be able to wear clothing, because Paul writes, “Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning…of putting on of apparel.” Obviously we are supposed to be clothed! In regard to jewelry, etc., Philippians 4:5 is recommended--“Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.” As Christ’s representatives, we are obligated to look clean and be well-dressed. Our clothing should be modest in every way. Make-up and jewelry are great--in moderation. We need to keep this before us.

Well, that’s all I have to say. Dear Princess is a wonderful book. Despite these issues, which are only brought up in one chapter (I believe), this devotional has been one of the greatest blessings in my life. Thank you, Mrs. Landis! =)

The Foolishness of Fashion

I got a much needed haircut yesterday. I put off going to the hair salon for as long as possible. I can’t stand going there because of the worldly music, chatter, and the generally godless atmosphere. Anyway, my hair was bugging me so much that I finally just went. Mom needed to get a trim as well. I decided that since I’m 20, not a child anymore, I’d like to try a hairstyle for something different. I’m always being told that I look 2-3 years younger than my actual age, so I thought a style might help me look a bit more grownup. I got my hair layered, and it’s growing on me.

As always, the lady, sorry, woman cutting my hair talked about things that made my want to squirm in my seat. (I wish I could cut my own hair and be forever done with the place!) I wonder if anything registers in her mind when she’s laughing about something that’s not at all humorous, and I’m silent and unresponsive…? She knows we are Christians. I rejoiced walking out of that place, knowing one thing for sure ~I am not of this world! Praise God!!!

Well, Lydia couldn’t get her hair cut yesterday because Cottontail had to go to the vet, so the two of us rode our bikes the salon this afternoon for Lydia’s appointment. As the woman cut Lydia’s hair, she made comments about me getting my hair short with more layers next time. I always have to hear about this. Actually, when I told her yesterday that I wanted some layers she pretended to be shocked. She’s finally stepping into the 21st century, she must have thought. Yes, it is the newest rage to have butch haircuts and styles that look like one’s hair got caught in a machine and yanked out just in time. It’s also quite modern to look like you rubbed oil through your hair and started the day without using a brush. Well, sorry, I just don’t care for that look.

“But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.” 1 Corinthians 11:15

I love long hair. Funny, the Bible calls long hair a woman’s glory, but here in Holland you are considered nerdy and terribly outdated if your hair is longer than shoulder length. Isn’t this what Satan’s goal is...to rob women of the glory befitting womanhood? That’s what the whole prostitution industry is all about ~tearing down the image of the woman, making it seem as though her only worth is to be a sex symbol. It’s filthy and repulsive! This is about as anti-God as it gets without forthrightly coming out and blaspheming His holy name. We were created in God’s image. As Christians, our bodies are the temples of the Holy Spirit. Should we dishonor Him by conforming to the image of this world?

As I looked around, I noticed that every woman in that hair salon had a butch haircut; they all looked the same. The first half of the hairstyling books were all models displaying the hair-caught-in-a-machine look, and the haughty expressions of the women posing seemed to radiate that they each thought their head was an absolute masterpiece! That’s like the modern art these days. You mix all the colors of the rainbow together into the shape of some unrecognizable object and suddenly you’re considered another Rembrandt or Michelangelo. The true beauty of creativity has been lost to us. A girl at the salon I went to last August was so used to doing these choppy-looking haircuts that she couldn’t even cut my hair in a straight line!!! Boy, that’s sad!

I’ve always said that as a general rule, if you’ve seen one Dutch woman you’ve seen them all ~the tight jeans, leather coat, head shaved like a man’s (the little hair that’s left is sure to be dyed), and a face caked in makeup. This isn’t just the style in Holland, although women look more unisex here than in any other country I’ve been to. This is a worldwide plague. It’s another one of Satan’s attempts to destroy what God has created.

God created man and woman, male and female, but Satan wants unisex. He wants women looking like men (the hacked hair and tight pants) and men looking like women (earrings, long hair, baggy pants). God says this is an abomination (Deuteronomy 22:5). He made two genders, and He wants our clothing to distinctly show the difference between male and female. However, the devil wants us all stereotyped into the image he has in mind, and he uses his fashion-enslave people to infect those who want to be different with peer pressure. I experience this pressure every time I step into that hair salon. You know, I’m tempted to grow these layers out just in rebellion to what is considered “in style.” I don’t care about style and what is considered “in.” If it’s modest and it’s “in” I’ll wear it, and when it goes “out” I’ll wear it too.

“London gets their fashion straight from Paris and Paris gets their fashion straight from hell.” ~ Charles Spurgeon

You know what’s really sad? One of the women in our neighborhood dyes her hair, little that there is, almost every week. From blond to red to brown, every time I see her it’s a different color. (She redecorates her house almost as often as she changes her hair color.) This is so sad. What an obvious display of the insecurities that lie hidden in her heart. When the joy of the Lord is ours, we needn’t toil over our outward appearance, for we all know that these mortal bodies will one day be laid in the dirt to decay. But where will the soul be then? What will it profit a woman if she gains the whole world ~all the makeup, the hair dye, the latest clothing~ and loses her own soul?
She will be remembered for her pretty face, but soon even that memory will grow dim and fade away. Character qualities and loving deeds create memories that endure forever. They are recorded not only in the mind, but by the heart, and leave a lasting impression that cannot be erased.

Beauty is only skin deep.

Poor Mom. As the woman cut her hair, she and I both had to endure the snide comments about Mom’s hair. Heaven forbid, she hasn’t colored it in a while, and the gray is actually showing! Trauma of traumas! I held my tongue, but I wanted to give our know-it-all hair cutter a piece of my mind. Is it really so important to have a head of perfectly styled hair all dyed and beautiful? Are looks really SO important?

Some of the most gorgeous women and handsome men are also the world’s first-class losers. (Rabbit Trail: Let’s take a look at our Hollywood “stars.” They are practically worshiped for the perfection of their faces and the attractiveness of their bodies, yet they are the youngest people in the world to die. How? Due to drug overdoses, etc., etc. Why? The multiple marriages, adultery, children born out of wedlock… One can only bear so much sin guilt before breaking under the strain. Truly, they must have wonderful lives to want to crowd out the memories with drugs and drinking, which, if done in excess, ultimately lead to death. No, the sad fact is that behind those smiling faces are some of the loneliest, most desolate persons on earth. From their hopeless lives and needless deaths we see that the glory of outward beauty does nothing to pacify the soul that craves forgiving Love…the endless love of Jesus Christ, which passes all human comprehension.)

Back to those gorgeous women and handsome men are also the world’s first-class losers… They know nothing of character. They know nothing of kindness. They know nothing of the truly important things of life, the things of the hidden man of the heart, the things that have lasting value. Their gorgeous faces are about as deep as their beauty goes. Shallow and proud are they, and of what? They had no input on the design of their faces and bodies when God formed them in their mothers’ wombs. They have “changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator.” (Romans 1:25) We have no right to take credit for our own beauty or unique characteristics. All glory belongs to God, and yet some insist on robbing Him of it.

Beauty is as beauty does.

As I listened to the woman prattle on and on about hair and the seeming life-threatening importance of having it just so (as Satan’s stereotype would require it to be), I silently contemplated what the Bible says about gray hair. Proverbs 20:29 says, “The glory of young men is their strength: and the beauty of old men is the gray head.” (I’m sure that must go for older women as well.) Proverbs 16:31 says, “The hoary head is a crown of glory, if it be found in the way of righteousness.” Ahh! This proves my point exactly! Far better to have a gray head of hair and be righteous than lost and Hell-bound with a gorgeous head of colored, styled hair. While women scurry off to the hair salons and clothing stores, leaving husband and children to eat TV dinners, my mom cooks us delicious homemade meals every night. She teaches us daily with her life about the things that truly matter.

Interesting that the physical appearance of the virtuous woman described in Proverbs 31 is never mentioned. The Bible never says “She is beautiful to behold,” yet God’s Word says that her price is far above rubies. The virtuous woman is compared with a gorgeous, red ruby, though her outward appearance is never told. The chapter only speaks of her deeds, and they are what make her beautiful in the eyes of all who know her. Beauty is as beauty does!

“The LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

I refuse to allow the fashions of this world to enslave me. I am not ashamed to be different. I consider it an honor, as should all Christian women. We have been called to be holy into the Lord our God. We are to be separate from this world in every aspect of the word. I want to encourage you to not submit to the peer pressure all around. Beauty has nothing to do with hair, clothing, or a pretty face. Beauty is something that is accentuated by a strong character and a lovely spirit of obedience and submission.
Don’t become another one of Satan’s stereotypes. There are already more than enough. The Lord is looking for someone who will not bend with the heavy winds of fashion, but who will stand strong and determined to do right regardless of the whirl of stunning styles. Surely, the Lord will honor such a woman!

“Thus saith the LORD, Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, neither let the mighty man glory in his might, let not the rich man glory in his riches: But let him that glorieth glory in this, that he understandeth and knoweth me, that I am the LORD which exercise lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness, in the earth: for in these things I delight, saith the LORD.” Jeremiah 9:23, 24