One Year Ago...

Yesterday, one year ago...

Russell came to Holland to ask if he could court me with the intent of marriage!

July 14, 2009

It all started with Prince Charming on the far right...

then, 9 months and 3 days later....

Russell & Hannah became the bear bride & groom!

We've almost been married 3 whole months! Wow!

I never thought a year ago that I would be where I am today, or that I would be dealing with the things I am dealing with right now. Despite the devil's fierce opposition, GOD IS GOOD! In the last several weeks there have been times when it seemed like God was so far away. The Psalms have become my prayer when I haven't had the words to express my sorrow. This afternoon I was reminded of Russell's and my verse---the verse we claimed for our relationship:

I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.

Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.

Psalms 27:13-14

This is another similar verse God has given me to cling to:

Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD.

Psalms 31:24

This temporal world is a cruel place. Life isn't fair. People aren't fair. Circumstances aren't fair. Innocent people suffer while truly evil people get by with their wickedness. It seems so unjust. But there is a Judge in Heaven who judges righteous judgement. The wrongs that have been done will one day be made right, and true justice will prevail. In the past it has always been my parents who have dealt with the brunt of the suffering of the ministry. Now Russell & I are experiencing it first-hand. After 6 weeks of marriage life was just beginning to become scheduled...routine...organized, when our world was turned upside down by the ministry being forcibly shut down, false accusations, arrests, the loss of job and income, and the inability to get a new job because of the charges. One year ago I never would have imagined it... And still, in all the chaos, there has been such an overwhelming peace in my soul. I don't know what the future holds...but I know Who holds the future. This situation came as no surprise to God. "For he performeth the thing that is appointed for me: and many such things are with him." (Job 23:14 ) It is a comfort to know that long before this seeming disaster broke out, the Lord appointed it for us. It wasn't a surprise to Him, though we were surprised by it. He has a plan for us, even in this, and though we walk in present darkness, we believe to see the goodness of the LORD. "When I cry unto thee, then shall mine enemies turn back: this I know; for God is for me." (Psalms 56:9)

A couple weeks ago Russell and I tested something to see if it was God's will. We told the Lord we would know something was His will if He gave us $200, because we didn't have the finances to do it otherwise. Well, the very next day a letter arrived from my grandparents. Enclosed in the envelope was a $100 check for Russell's belated birthday. Even as I was opening the card and saw the $100 I inwardly battled with my flesh, hoping beyond hope that there would be at least another $100, yet not having the faith to believe it could really be possible. After all, why would God bother to look down from the heights of Heaven and hear ME??? I am nothing. I'm a O, written in pencil, and then easily erased. Folded inside the card was a separate letter, and inside I could see there was another check. Could it possibly be another $100???? No! It wasn't a $100 check. It was a $200 check!!! I was blown away...and how foolish that I should be when Russell and I had asked the Lord to give us that exact amount. Not only that, but I realized that the check was in the mail on its way down from New York before we ever asked God for $200.

And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer;

and while they are yet speaking, I will hear.

Isaiah 65:24

Nobody can tell me there isn't a God,

and nobody can say the Bible isn't true.

Well, that whole story really had nothing to do with this post about 1 year ago, but I just couldn't help but brag on the Lord a little. ;) Russell may not have a job at the moment, and our bank account may be running a little low, but I know my God will never desert me. There has never been one day in my life that I did not have enough food to eat. The Lord has given me over and above my needs and has supplied even my wants. I am SO blessed!

It is well with my soul. The blood of Jesus Christ has washed away my sins, and not a person on this earth can take my salvation from me. Yes, they can hurt me physically and emotionally, but spiritually I have a foundation in Christ my LORD which can never be moved. It is well with my soul! Praise God!!!