“Ladies and Gentlemen…” This is a phrase regularly used in speeches, yet I greatly fear that we do not comprehend the meaning of the words, for today there are so few true ladies and even fewer gentlemen!!! There was once a time when it was customary for a man to act like a gentleman and a woman to act like a lady. Today we marvel when some act of politeness is done or a kind word is spoken or a child behaves well in public.As a girl who notices these things, I really have to be honest and admit that I know few gentlemen. For that matter, I know few ladies. Like the lost art of building cobblestone houses, somewhere along the way we have lost the ability to raise ladies and gentlemen. I, for one, love to be treated like a lady, but I realize why girls are not treated like ladies.
One can spot a lady at first glance. Today I look around and see silly, giggling, half-dressed girls parading about in skin-tight tight jeans and skimpy shirts and filthy-minded, lusting boys. This is a two-way street. BOTH parties are guilty!
It is interesting to note that manners were prevalent in the days when women wore clothing that covered the body--not exposed it. (Pants expose the body!) A woman who wishes to be treated as a lady should dress like a lady and act like a lady and talk like a lady. The reason why men may generally treat women like trash is because women generally dress, and therefore act, like trash. If women would respect themselves enough to cover themselves, men would respect the fact that women respect themselves and act accordingly--with respect!!! In many ways the reason why men do not act like gentlemen today is not solely the fault of the male population, but of the females!!!
“The more you act like a lady, the more he will act like a gentleman!”
There is another reason, I believe, why men do not act like gentlemen. God gave men strong arms so they could open big doors and carry heavy boxes. Rarely do I have the pleasure of a gentleman holding the door or “rescuing” me when I’m carrying a heavy load. I personally think men are afraid that if they do help a lady, she will immediately assume that he “likes” her. It is wrong for ladies to make that assumption simply because one of the few, almost-extinct gentlemen out there is alert enough to come to their aid. On the other hand, I totally understand why a lady would think this, because it often appears that the only men willing to help are those who have ulterior motives--they do like the girl and are seeking to impress her. This is wrong!!! A gentleman should be a gentleman, not for his own personal gain, but because it is the right thing to do.I found this list of manners for gentlemen. Neat stuff!
- Gentlemen have respectful attitudes which lead to respectful actions and words. They greet people with a smile, nod, or “hello” as they pass people. Their attitude is one of putting others first, based on The Golden Rule, to treat others the way they would like to be treated.
- Gentlemen use respectful words: “Please,” “Thank You,” “You’re Welcome,” and “Excuse Me.” Instead of “What?” and “Huh?” they say “Pardon me?” or “I’m sorry?” They say “Yes, Ma’am” and “No, Sir” respectfully. They never use cursing or cussing words. Gentlemen also have the courage to use difficult words like, “I’m Sorry,” “I made a mistake,” and “Will You Forgive Me?”
- Gentlemen open doors for Ladies and allow them to pass through first, saying, “After you!”
- Gentlemen walk a Lady to the car and open the car door for her.
- A Gentleman offers his seat to a Lady. Gentlemen should offer their seat to their elders or pregnant women in crowded buses or waiting rooms. A gentleman sacrifices his own comfort for the comfort of a lady. Never be seated until your mother is seated.
- A Gentleman helps a Lady (his wife) put on her coat or sweater. He also offers to help carry heavy packages for a lady. Children offer to carry the bags for their mothers. If the lady drops something, the gentleman will pick it up for her.
- Gentlemen stand when a Lady enters the room or when he is introduced to someone.
- Gentlemen seat a Lady at the dinner table before they seat themselves. They rise when ladies excuse themselves and when they return. The gentleman takes care of the lady to his right.
- The Gentleman protects a Lady from danger. He walks on the curb side of the road as a courtesy of protection and to keep the lady from getting splashed by puddles. He also stands behind a lady on an escalator going up; and in front of her going down to protect her from falling.
- A Gentleman will never EVER hit or hurt a Lady. A boy must never hit or hurt a girl, but rather use his strength to protect a girl.
I’d like to make a few comments in regards to Rule #2:
Gentlemen also have the courage to use difficult words like, “I’m Sorry,” “I made a mistake,” and “Will You Forgive Me?”
This world somehow has the warped thinking that if a man admits that he is wrong he is less than a man. I totally disagree!!! A girl will only respect a man who can admit when he is wrong!!! I am a girl, and I would know! This is a principle I have seen in my dad. When he is wrong he comes to me and admits it and asks me to forgive him. That only makes me love and respect him more!!! A man who cannot admit his failures has a serious heart problem! It’s called pride.
“A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings intentionally.”
I really like Rule #10:
A Gentleman will never EVER hit or hurt a Lady. A boy must never hit or hurt a girl, but rather use his strength to protect a girl.
While looking up some things about gentlemanly behavior I came across this quote: “A gentlemen is one who never strikes a woman without provocation.” WRONG! A gentleman is one who never strikes a woman even with provocation. (Ladies can work along with this by acting like ladies, which means never shouting or screaming or acting like a brawling woman. “A soft answer turneth away wrath.” Remember: The more you act like a lady, they more he will treat you like a lady!) A gentleman is one who NEVER strikes a woman for any reason whatsoever! A gentleman is one who can control his anger, whether a person is deserving of it or not. Only coward uses brute force! Proverbs 16:32 says, “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.” A gentleman is a man who never touches a lady or a girl except to show love and kindness.
A Gentleman will never EVER hit or hurt a Lady. A boy must never hit or hurt a girl, but rather use his strength to protect a girl.
While looking up some things about gentlemanly behavior I came across this quote: “A gentlemen is one who never strikes a woman without provocation.” WRONG! A gentleman is one who never strikes a woman even with provocation. (Ladies can work along with this by acting like ladies, which means never shouting or screaming or acting like a brawling woman. “A soft answer turneth away wrath.” Remember: The more you act like a lady, they more he will treat you like a lady!) A gentleman is one who NEVER strikes a woman for any reason whatsoever! A gentleman is one who can control his anger, whether a person is deserving of it or not. Only coward uses brute force! Proverbs 16:32 says, “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.” A gentleman is a man who never touches a lady or a girl except to show love and kindness.
“My boy,” said a father to his son, “treat everybody with politeness, even those who are rude to you; remember, you show courtesy to others, not because they are gentlemen, but because you are one.”
What do you see in your mind’s eye when you hear the word “gentleman”? A man sitting cross-legged with a cup of tea and his pinky in the air? No!
When I hear the word gentleman I picture a man, not necessarily tall or dashingly handsome, but a man of character. A man who knows when to be tough and when to be tender. A man who can laugh and cry. A man who will admit when he’s wrong. A man who can cook and clean when it is necessary and doesn’t feel that his manhood is threatened or his reputation is at stake. A man who can tenderly cradle a baby, and with the same strong arm can protect and defend if the need arises. A gentleman is a man who won’t let majority opinion sway his firm beliefs and convictions even when they aren’t popular. A gentleman is one who can control himself, his mind and his actions. This man will not only provide for the physical needs of his family, but will also lead them emotionally and spiritually. He is a man who loves God above all others. This man is a gentleman!
When I hear the word gentleman I picture a man, not necessarily tall or dashingly handsome, but a man of character. A man who knows when to be tough and when to be tender. A man who can laugh and cry. A man who will admit when he’s wrong. A man who can cook and clean when it is necessary and doesn’t feel that his manhood is threatened or his reputation is at stake. A man who can tenderly cradle a baby, and with the same strong arm can protect and defend if the need arises. A gentleman is a man who won’t let majority opinion sway his firm beliefs and convictions even when they aren’t popular. A gentleman is one who can control himself, his mind and his actions. This man will not only provide for the physical needs of his family, but will also lead them emotionally and spiritually. He is a man who loves God above all others. This man is a gentleman!
“A gentleman is one who puts more into the world than he takes out.”
7 comments:
Truly, I can understand some of the points you are giving in your respectable blog of today. Well said Miss Mouse. But I am shocked by the way you judge us ladies.
Let me explain what I mean: What do skin tight jeans tell you about a girl? One shall not judge another, a wise man once said. I wear skin tight jeans from time to time. I can tell you, this doesn't make me less a lady whatsoever. And it certainly doesn't make me deserving to be treated as trash by the other sex. If I get treated that way by someone, I'll end this behaviour towards me immediately, as a teacher needs to do from time to time.
I wear whatever makes me feel comfortable. Sometimes, this is a skinny jeans yes. Other days, I wear baggy jeans. Now and then, I even wear dresses that reaches my ankles. The way I feel comfortable makes me aware of who I am and makes me feel good. This is what people will see in me and will lead to how I will get treated by others. I don't need to hide my body for that.
I don't know what kind of experience you have with today's males, but mine isn't this negative. Of course, I see boys (and girls) that I pity. But most boys and girls are so much more than the clothes they wear! I met my soul mate wearing exactly that what you describe as unlady-like. And guess what, he looked right through it (in the spiritual meaning :P). He saw me and saw it was right. If this was a lady or a mid blonde monster, I don't even care. He's with me for who I am and treats me with respect because it is me who he loves. Not some Jane Austen character, me.
My point is, I am not trash because I wear clothing that look like trash to you. I'm treated as a lady because my personality goes just that little further than what I put on my back in the mornings. The things I wear are just a little of who I am, the way I treat people makes me who I am and how I want people to see me.
Em, nice to get your opinion on the subject. I am sorry to hear you don’t approve of some things I wrote, but I don’t expect everyone to agree with me. That’s fine!
My intent in writing this post was not to judge anyone, but simply to point out some things that need to be addressed as to how men and women can help each other recapture the true meaning of the words “ladies and gentlemen.” As I look around at society in the day and age we live in, I would not say that many people conduct themselves as true ladies and gentlemen. As I said, both parties are to blame, and that includes us ladies. I don’t like it either, but that is the truth of it…
It is a proven fact that men look at a woman differently when they have a skirt on as opposed to a pair of pants. Men think differently than women. (I’m sure I don’t need to explain this.) As ladies, we should want men to admire us for the right reasons--not because of what they see on the outside but who we are on the inside. When men see a woman in clothing that “hugs” her body, it takes a great deal more concentration to focus on that lady’s character, which is what should be the most important factor in any relationship. Because men are stimulated by what they see, we need to be dressing ourselves in a way that helps them concentrate on the “inner man.”
How we dress ourselves is our own business. A woman can dress in a “trashy” manner whether she is wearing a pair of skin tight jeans, a pair of dress pants, or even a skirt or dress. It all depends on that woman’s goals, which determines how she wears them. People “read” us by our clothing. It’s an inevitable fact! A woman will feel and, therefore, conduct herself as a lady when she is wearing a dress or skirt, because that is what women have always worn until men’s pants became accepted as women’s clothing. The Bible says in Deuteronomy 22:5 that it is an abomination for a woman to wear men’s clothing. That means pants. As a Christian, I believe all ladies should dress in a modest way, and for that reason I only wear modest skirts and dresses.
You are right! Whether a woman wears modest or immodest clothing, she should still be treated as a lady. Remember this quote I used: “My boy,” said a father to his son, “treat everybody with politeness, even those who are rude to you; remember, you show courtesy to others, not because they are gentlemen (or a lady, in this case), but because you are one.” A man should treat a woman like a lady regardless of whether she is one or not! However, from a man’s perspective I can see why he would feel more inclined to treat a woman in a skirt with more respect than a woman wearing a pair of pants. Deep in the heart of every man, I believe God has placed a special tenderness towards a woman in a skirt, because that is the clothing a woman ought to be wearing. For this reason I wrote that women are partly guilty for men not being gentlemen today. Just as I believe God has placed it in a man’s heart to be gentlemanly, I also believe that deep within every woman is a desire to be treated with respect and love. We can help and encourage men to become gentlemen by dressing like ladies.
As I said before, people “read” us by our clothing. It is inevitable! People make assessments about who we are by our clothing. A bride tells the world that she is a bride by wearing her beautiful white wedding gown. A policeman is identifiable by his police uniform. Everyone knows a beggar on the street because of his shabby clothing. The prostitute is known for her lack of respectable clothing. Every morning that we wake up and dress ourselves, we are telling the world something about us…something about what we like (our choice of color, our style), who we are (a nurse, teacher, policeman, etc.), and what we want to become. Our choice of clothing either demands respect or disdain. A policeman on duty would not be nearly as intimidating if he was without his uniform. The bride would not be nearly as breathtaking if she refused to adorn herself in her pure, white wedding dress. A beggar would never make money if he begged in a brand new suite; people would laugh at him. Lastly, a woman will not receive the respect she deserves if she wears clothing that is does not demand the respect of her position.
Men do treat a woman differently when she wears a skirt as opposed to a pair of pants. I have seen it with my own eyes!!! I have noticed it myself. What I find very sad is that men almost seem stunned when they see a lady in a skirt. It is so abnormal these days to see a woman looking like a true lady. I have seen the looks in their eyes, and it is a look of thoughtful admiration…not lust. Men respect a woman who respects herself (and the opposite sex) enough do dress in a way that encourages the gentlemanly instincts in them.
Unfortunately, the movie industry (Hollywood), the advertisement companies, and the magazines do nothing to encourage men to see the inward beauty of a woman. Have you ever noticed that it is almost always a woman that is “advertising” whatever product (clothing, ice cream, phone service, cigarettes, cars, etc)? And have you ever noticed that the woman is almost always wearing tight pants and a low, tight shirt, which seduces men and causes them to lust? Have you ever noticed that these women almost always sit or stand in a way that no lady would ever think to if she was wearing a skirt or dress? Have you ever noticed the challengingly sensual looks in there eyes? Yes, our clothing does determine who we are and how we act, what our goals are and what kind of response we are going to get.
Today we see the results of relationships that did not begin because a man looked at a woman and saw a beautiful character, but because a man looked at a woman and saw everything he wanted openly “advertised” (if you know what I mean…). A relationship established on lust is not a relationship that will last long. This is one reason why we see the plague of divorce sweeping our country and the world. Beauty is only skin deep, with old age it becomes less, and once we die it is consumed in the grave. A beautiful character, on the other hand, is something that only thrives with old age…if we nurture it.
This is the bottom line; this is the whole problem: A women causes a men to lust by dressing immodestly. If this man happens to have any morals at all, he will marry the woman. Eventually the passion fades away. This woman was so preoccupied with dressing herself in a way that attracted men that she forgot to nurture her beautiful character. So what you have here is a woman who looks beautiful on the outside but has nothing of lasting value on the inside. The relationship between this man and woman was founded on lust, and there is no character to sustain them through the rough times in their marriage. This lusting man divorces the woman and that is the end of that. This is the story of millions today!!!!!! It is very sad!
Many of the world’s problems today stem from the fact that women do not dress in a way that pleases God. It is our sinful rebellion that causes us to strive with the idea of dressing in a way that honors God, the One who made us, and clothing ourselves in a manner that helps the male population. I greatly desire to see a change, even a small change, in this area.
I’m sorry if anything I have written has offended you, Em. That is not my goal at all!!! I just feel strongly about what I believe to be the truth, and I want to make a difference.
Wishing you all the best,
Hannah
Nice of you to react to my opinion. I think it is a very interesting discussion indeed.
You must know, I do agree with you to some extend: I do believe the ladies and gentlemen of today are very scarce. I do believe clothing has a lot to do with it. When a woman wears clothing that barely covers more than a post stamp would do, it does give a message to others (men AND women). Same counts for the men.
The main reason why I reacted to this specific blog is because of my mother, who visited you last Monday. She wears jeans just like I do. Is that a reason to think less of her? Or me? Will you judge me because I don't wear that what you believe the Bible tells people to wear? (This is a serious question, not some sort of blame towards you) Don't think she thinks badly of you, it's quite the opposite really. She loves your family a lot.
Back on topic: You write women should wear long skirts to help a man not look at specific parts of her body. Don't you think this is a bit far fetched? I think it is a task of the lady to dress in a neat manner, but I also strongly believe a man is capable to treat any woman as a lady. Whether she is a prostitute or not. When I put on a pair of skinny jeans in the morning, I don't think: "lets get some!" Not at all. I put on my pair of jeans because I look good in them.
Not to disrespect God or myself, but I don't think jeans were designed just for men. Back in the days, pants were designed for men. And even further back, men walked around in dresses and robes, just like the women. Does this mean men should still wear dresses and robes? I believe not. Fashion changes and one should wear whatever they find beautiful and comfortable. Not (just) to help others recognize that they want to be respected and treated in some way.
I do believe some parts of society is ill indeed. Girls chewing on gum and looking arrogant like 'What!' I dislike them. They wear jeans really tight in a manner they are almost unable to sit (makes me laugh though) or wear the tiniest tops. I just believe this is done by insecurity: they need to looks of the other sex to feel good about themselves. In that way, you are right and in those cases, the jeans are not used in the right manner: to make you feel good because YOU like what you wear.
My boyfriend believes I look like a lady every day. I see that with my own eyes. Any man looking at me like some piece of meat: I know those pitiful men exist, whether you are wearing a nice, neat dress or a pair of jeans. Rape-rates all around the world proves for example that rape still happens in Mormon places and mixed societies. I think that proves that lustful men exist everywhere. You do not tempt them more with jeans, because this is matter of taste. I know men who adore women in 'non-hugging' (may I say, well found by you :P) clothes and find them erotic. They disgust tight jeans! Like I said, it's a matter of taste.
I agree with you on the advertising from these days. I don't like them either. Not so much for what they wear or how they act, but because they are too skinny. When I see advertisement I dislike, I just realize this is not just my call. It's society's call. And then, I just think: I don't care about the others, I care for myself and my family. I simply refuse to be irritated by how other women want to portray themselves. It's their choice, and I'm not stupid enough to fall for their selling strategies. All those who are, I feel sorry for them. Nothing more, nothing less.
Every day, I try to look good, I will admit that. Who doesn't? Any man worthy of a woman will not get involved with her just for the way she looks. So why cover the body for that purpose? A true man will get involved with you for you. To such men, it doesn't matter what you wear: skirts, dresses, jeans, or even nothing! He will respect and care for you when you look your best and when you look like dying.
Conclusion is: a man will not change his true self if you wear something that covers the figure. He might conceal it, he might not try to make a move on you, but they will not change: if they are looking for one thing, wearing a dress will not cure them or make them change their goals. For me, the trick is not to get involved with somebody that quickly. I take my time to discover personalities. This is why I never doubted the goals of my Love: I knew him for more over a year before we got involved romantically. It doesn't guarantee a happy future together, but nobody has that security or ability to predict the future.
I enjoy reading your blog, I think it is nice to read how someone so different from me lives her life. I hope to hear more from you.
Wishing you the best likewise,
Emma.
Emma, my lost-and (now)-found cousin!
My family and I are about to leave to go on a short vacation, so I can’t write long, but I felt that some of your questions, in the first few paragraphs, deserved immediate responses.
First off, I want to assure you that I LOVED meeting your parents!!! I knew the minute I met them that they were special. In fact, I knew even before I met them and your dad ever contacted my dad that your family was special. Our long lost Dutch relatives on my dad’s side always have had a special place in our hearts.
Secondly, I’m sure when your mother visited us she noticed that my mom, my sister, and myself were all wearing long skirts. We noticed that she was wearing pants. We did not think any less of her, and we do not think any less of you! We do not think any less of anybody who chooses to wear a pair of pants! This is considered “normal” in society today, so we don’t expect anything different. The Bible does give clear instructions as to how women are to dress their bodies, and because I am a Christian and God’s Word is my guide for living, I follow these principles. I do not judge those who do not follow them. God is the judge!!! That should be a good enough reason for all Christian women to wear modest clothing.
Emma, if you hadn’t read my beliefs on this subject on my blog you never would have known; I would not have confronted you had we met and you were wearing pants. I don’t go forcing what I believe on others. I write what I believe on my blog, not because they are my “rules,” but because they are God’s rules, and I am seeking to please Him by being obedient. Nobody has to read my blog. If they choose not to because of what may seem like “radical” beliefs, more power to them! I am simply writing about the things I believe to be the truth. I have been in the ministry, serving Jesus Christ, with my parents for almost 13 years now, and I have seen the things that happen when people follow the Lord. God’s Word is truth! God’s ways get results…good results. I’ve seen lives that were hopeless totally changed! I’ve seen families that were crumbling get together again. I’ve seen husbands and wives fall in love with each other when they were on the verge of divorce. How did this happen? These people chose to follow the “rules,” or guidelines written in God’s Word, the Bible. God’s way is the best way! This world would be a different place if the human race took a good look at what is written in the Bible and began applying it to their lives!!! Of this I am convinced!
I could keep on writing, but I would only be reiterating what I have already written and “beating a dead horse.” Emma, we definitely think the same on some things, but I think there are others that we are going to have to agree to disagree on. Besides, I hate to “argue” with family. =)
You brought up several new and interesting topics which I would love to get into right now, but I’m afraid I don’t have the time. They will have to wait until we get home. Several months ago I read some interesting information on the subject, so I will have to look around and find it again.
I’ve gotta go! Thanks for writing, Emma. Now I have a cousin named Emma on my mom’s side of the family and on my dad’s side too! Pretty name! By the way, your English is great! You will be a good teacher!
Bye for now,
Hannah
Hello Hannah
How nice you are going on a holiday. I want you to understand the only reason for me have this discussion with you is the honest fact that I just needed to know if you're the kind of Christian (bad formulation, I know) that will force something upon others. They exist and I must be honest: I did let stories from Oprah about some American Christians take over my ability to think rationally about the subject. I must admit that I don't know many Christians (in fact... None. Until now :P) that are like you. My mother told me your family is absolutely fabulous and ever so modest and generous. It was me who didn't trust it all immediately.
I want you to not be alarmed, I didn't want to argue with you whatsoever, I merely wanted to open discussion about a subject very close to my heart: I'm a feminist, I believe in equal treatment between sexes. I think that on this department, we might have some interesting discussions lying ahead. I do agree with you that every lady deep inside her heart wants to be treated good and just. I'm that kind of lady too.
The special thing about my family is that we discuss absolutely everything: politics, economics, society... I don't avoid it and I can have very good discussions with Muslims and Christians about religion. The only thing I feared was the matter of forcing it upon others and, judging them without further notice of character. I knew from my mum and dad your family is not at ALL like that, but I needed to find it out by myself. Even if I didn't read your blog (nice work by the way) I would have had the doubts. I always need to know more, because of curiosity and because I need to know how I'm going to approach people so different from myself. And I'd like to assure you: I would not force my beliefs on you, ever. I only talk about beliefs when I or someone else opens an discussion. When I read this particular blog, I thought "Lets see what happens".
I am relieved you do not think less of 'non-christians' or humanists at all. Many people with strong beliefs aren't capable to respect the beliefs and opinions of others. This counts for humanists as for Christians and Muslims for example.
I don't believe the Bible's way is the best way, but I cannot deny that many rules are still based on Christian beliefs before the state and church were separated. A lot of things written down in Holy book(s) are very inspirational, but I do not believe in following every word written down. I live my life trying not to harm others, work hard and keep myself and my family safe and close to my heart. I believe that living the way I do, I will end up somewhere good. Of that I am sure.
I'd like to see more interesting discussions and conversations. Of course, we cannot agree on everything, you are more than right about that one! But I think this should be seen as inspirational. We can learn from each other, this is something I tell in classes as well.
I'd like to say to you: I'd love to meet you. We are the same age, and I don't have that many cousins my age. And my dad is very enthusiastic about you all, that makes me curious as well. For now I wish you and your family all the best and good health during your holiday, and I hope to hear from you soon!
Greetings from Emma.
Hello Emma,
It is good to be home!!! I trust you read about our vacation. We had a very nice time, although I came home with a hurt hand and ended up getting the flu. I’ve been trying to recuperate; that’s why it’s taken me so long to get back to you. Sorry about that!
In a previous comment you brought up the subject of men wearing robes in the Bible. This is true! Men did wear robes, as did women, but they wore them differently, so there was still a distinction between the sexes. I was curious about that too, so I looked it up, and this is part of one article I found.
“In the Bible days women did not wear crotched garments. Pants have a crotch. Men in the Bible days wore crotched garments. Not only that, women in any society did not wear pants until close to the middle of this century (1900’s). Pants are called britches in the Bible, and britches were worn exclusively by men for the first 5,950 years of human existence (which means up until about fifty years ago). Even the garments worn by men and women in Bible days were different. The woman wore a long flowing robe, and men wore a shorter and tighter robe. Underneath the woman’s robe would be nothing. Underneath the man’s robe would be a pair of short pants that would go down to the knees. Whenever a man would have to do some type of labor, such as to team up an ox, pull a trailer or dig a hole, he would pull up his skirt and tuck it in his pants that were under his skirt, and that was called in the Bible ‘girding up your loins.’” I thought this information was quite interesting, because there are several verses in the Bible that use this last phrase. Now I realize the meaning behind it!
We’ve already discussed the pant issue, and you know what I believe about it. However, I wanted to explain some of the reasons why God says it is abomination for a woman to wear pants.
In Deuteronomy 22:5 God says, “The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.”
History shows that idol worshippers would switch clothing for their religious ceremonies. Men would wear women’s clothing and women would wear men’s clothing. This was done to show rebellion to the rules of nature (the two sexes) which God instituted. In the beginning, God made man and woman/male and female. Satan, in his rebellion to God, has gone about seeking to destroy everything that God intended for good. Just to name a few things: God made music to be a good thing, but Satan has corrupted it, using it as a demonically driving force to promote illicit sex and even murder. God made men and women to enjoy the pleasures of marriage IN marriage, but Satan has destroyed that as well. Today we see sodomites (“gays”) working their vile practices, corrupting the physical relationship that God intended for one men and one women alone.
God is a jealous God. He desires that our love and adoration be given ONLY to Him! This mixing of clothing for idol worship was like a sharp slap in God’s face, because He wrote in the Law, “Thou shalt have no other gods before Me. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image…Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.” (Exodus 20:4-6)
Women wearing pants and idol worship are strongly linked to each other--they are both a display of rebellion to God. (I could give so many real-life examples of this, but I’m afraid I would run out of writing space as well as time.) The point is that just because women don’t use pants to worship idols today, that still doesn’t make it right.
Pants promote the whole idea of unisex, which is also an abomination to God. Men wearing pink, with long hair and jewelry and women wearing pants and having short haircuts are what often start the warped thinking process of homosexuals. It’s not a disease, as they say, but a SIN problem. People “forget” what gender they are because there is no outward distinction between the sexes, and soon people are so confused that it is virtually hopeless to restore their minds. I often look at individuals around me and have to wonder “Is that a man or a woman?” Either it’s a ugly woman or a pretty man, and I honestly can’t tell what it is. This is really scary! This is sickening to God! The whole idea of unisex is devilish, because God created two sexes and wants that difference to be obvious to everyone.
I know what you mean about girls chewing gum like a cow chewing its cud and also about girls wearing tight pants (painting them on, or using a shoehorn--ha!) and skimpy tops to attract attention because they feel insecure. I believe this is true, and it also proves my point, that these kinds of clothing do attract attention from the opposite sex, but not the right kind of attention! Like you said, I believe there are many women who wear pants with a totally innocent attitude--not one of seducing men. Still, whether a woman has that attitude or not, it does not diminish the fact that men still have eyes and still lust.
You are totally right about the fact that just because women wear modest clothing men will still lust. It happens all the time. Still, women will answer to God for how they dress themselves regardless of how men look at them. In the same way, men will answer to God for where they look and what they think about. Women will help men by dressing modestly, but men may still lust, and for that they will answer to God. The bottom line is sin! One of the 10 Commandants is: “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” but then Matthew 5:28 defines adultery as a lot more serious than we think. “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” When a man looks at a woman or a woman looks at a man with lust, in God’s eyes they have already committed the act of fornication.
In response to your second comment…
I’m not exactly sure what you mean by a feminist. I believe women have the right to vote, should receive equal wages, and should be treated with respect. A woman’s opinion is of no less value than a man’s. God, in His Word, tells husbands to love their wives as their own bodies, just as Christ loves the church and gave His life for it. So you see, God is for “women’s rights”…to a certain extent. When it comes to a woman’s right to have an abortion, that is where the line is drawn. Any baby that is conceived is a person who has a right to live!!! We use these nice little excuses like, “What if a woman was raped and got pregnant?” to make abortion seem justifiable, but then what about the millions of babies who are killed for no reason at all except the parents don’t want them? These are only excuses to justify the sin of murder. Why should an innocent baby have to die? If anybody should die, it should be the rapist. (I’m all for capital punishment, by the way! If crimes such as rape and murder were punishable by death, BOY, wouldn’t people think twice before carrying them out?! Capital punishment is also Biblical: “He that killeth with the sword must be killed with the sword.” We would sure save a lot of tax money used for keeping wicked criminals alive as well.)
For teenagers who get pregnant out of wedlock and don’t want the baby or don’t have the resources to care for it, the answer is simple: Don’t play with fire and you won’t get burned! Abstain! Exercise self-control! The Bible is so clear about not having a marital relationship out of marriage; there are good and logical reasons for it!
Then there are the times when a baby has a disease and will be handicapped when it is born. Some babies, when they are sick, die naturally in the womb. (Sadly, this happened to a couple in our church.) Then other babies--with Down Syndrome, for example--are allowed to live, and the parents exclaim that they never had a sweeter child. Just because a baby is sickly doesn’t give anybody the right to kill it. God, the Creator of that little life is the only One who has any say in the matter. Deep in the heart of any woman who has ever had an abortion is guilt, whether it is acknowledged or not. God has written His law in every human heart, and His law says “Thou shalt not kill.”
Emma, you said “I don’t believe the Bible’s way is the best way, but I cannot deny that many rules are still based on Christian beliefs before the state and church were separated.” I can understand why you would be skeptical, especially after listening to Oprah Winfrey, but I’m curious to know if you have ever done a study in the Bible. There are so many things that I don’t understand, but what I do understand intrigues me. As you said, many of the laws enforced today are just Biblical laws that men long ago wrote into official documents and declared a law that should be held to. God, the Creator, wrote laws for His creation, and they are found in His Word, the Bible. The nations that applied these Divine rules to society are the nations that prosper today. This is no coincidence! As we have seen nations, such as America, slowly turning their backs on Godly principles, we also see the slow degeneration that takes place. This, too, is no coincidence! This world is stepping farther from the boundaries of God’s Laws, and this is why the world is becoming such a hopeless mess. Time is running out. Jesus Christ is coming back…and SOON!
You also wrote, “I live my life trying not to harm others, work hard and keep myself and my family safe and close to my heart. I believe that living the way I do, I will end up somewhere good. Of that I am sure.” Emma, your reasons for believing you will end up someplace good--I’m assuming you mean Heaven--are very logical, and they do sound right! In every human being there is something telling us that by doing good things and living right, according to a human standard, we will go to Heaven. This gives us a measure of personal security about the great unknown--life after death.
We say we are good enough to get to Heaven because our good works will outweigh our bad ones, but…what is “good enough”? What may seem good enough to me may not seem good enough to God. Proverbs 14:12 says, “There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.” God’s standard of “good” and our standard of “good” are on two different scales. Our question shouldn’t be “What do I think makes me good enough to go to Heaven?” but “What does God think makes me good enough to go to Heaven?” What is “good enough” to God?
God gave us His written Laws as a simple guideline for living. They are called “The 10 Commandments.”
1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image.
3. Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain.
4. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.
5. Honour thy father and thy mother.
6. Thou shalt not kill.
7. Thou shalt not commit adultery.
8. Thou shalt not steal.
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.
10. Thou shalt not covet any thing that is thy neighbour’s.
Who can say they have never lied? Who can say they have never stolen anything? Who has never used God’s name as a swear word to express disgust? Who has never spoken in a rude manner to their mother and father? These are only 4 of the 10 commandments, and already I find that I am guilty!
Not only that, but the Bible specifies that a murder isn’t just somebody who has killed another person, but one who has hated somebody in his heart.
To commit adultery isn’t just to act it out, but to think about doing it--to lust.
Hate = Murder
Lust = Adultery
The fact is, God knew that no human could ever keep these laws. The Bible says that the Law is our schoolmaster, written to show us that we could never be “good enough” to reach God’s standard of holiness. Therefore, He could never let us into His Heaven, because each one of us has broken His commandments.
The Bible says in Romans 3:23, “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God,” and in Romans 3:10, “There is none righteous, no, not one.”
The entire human race is doomed, because every one of us has broken these Laws of holiness. Because of our disobedience, we deserve to die in Hell. Romans 6:23 says, “The wages of sin is death.” The payment for sin is death. Revelation 21:8 is a shocking verse: “The fearful, and unbelieving and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”
The fearful and unbelieving = everyone who has not repented of their sins and trusted in Christ as their Saviour
The abominable = gays, for example
Murderers = anybody who has killed somebody, anybody who has hated somebody
Whoremongers = anybody involved in lust, fornication, illicit sex, adultery, prostitution
Sorcerers = anybody dealing drugs or using drugs (they open up a spiritual world), wizards, witches, magicians
Idolaters = worshippers of anybody (the virgin Mary, Buddha) or anything but God
All Liars
These deserve to die in Hell.
God saw that we could never be “good enough” to get into the gates of Heaven. If He would let just one sinner into Heaven it would become polluted with sin and soon be just as corrupt as the present world we live in. God knew that we were without hope and headed for Hell because of our sin. And He made a way of escape!
“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through Him might be saved.” John 3:16,17
God proved His love for us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. The Bible says that without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sins, so God sent His only Son, His perfectly sinless Son, Jesus Christ, to be beaten and mocked and nailed to a rough cross, to bleed, and to die in our place. Jesus became our substitute. He took the punishment you and I deserve!
“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13
The cross of Calvary bridged the gap between Heaven and Hell, and now we can be saved by confessing our sins and asking Jesus Christ to be our Saviour.
Today Jesus’ invitation to every sinful soul is this: “Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him.” Revelation 3:20
To receive the gift of eternal life we must repent of our sin and ask Jesus to come into our hearts! “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13) “If thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.” (Romans 10:9,10)
So you see, Emma, none of us can go to a better place when we die simply by trying to be good and live right. We can never be “good enough” because of what we have done. God’s Word says that all our good works are like filthy rags. There is nothing we can do to earn Heaven. “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8,9) If we could reach Heaven’s portals by being good, then we would be sinning in that we boasted about our own goodness, and Christ would have died in vain! The great sacrifice He made on the cross in dying for us would have been a mistake. And God never makes any mistakes!
God has given each one of us our own free will and the opportunity to make a personal choice. We can trust in our own works to be good enough and end up in Hell, or we can trust in the finished work of Jesus Christ on Calvary and go to Heaven when we die.
Romans 6:23 says, “For the wages of sin is death; BUT the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”
“But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name.” (John 1:12)
I have trusted in Jesus Christ as my personal Saviour. One day I confessed my sins to God--the sins that were sending me right to Hell. I asked Jesus to forgive me and wash my clean with His blood. At that very moment I received the gift of eternal life, and I became a child of God. Since that day I have been a different person. God put His Holy Spirit inside me, and when I die my soul is going straight to Heaven. And if Jesus should return to earth tonight to claim His blood-bought children, anybody who comes looking for me will find my pajamas in my bed, because my body and my spirit will be in Heaven. Time is running out; we are living in the last days! The end of this world as we know it is here. The combination of WWI and WWII and all the other wars put together cannot compare with the devastation that is to come. NOBODY wants to be left behind.
Dear cousin Emma, this is all I have to say. I know this is very long, and for that I apologize. I have poured out my heart to you. These things are not easy to say or easy to write. But I love you and I want you to understand the truth. Sometimes the truth is hard, but the truth is the only thing that can set us free!
Our own dear grampa is now in Heaven because He, too, accepted Jesus Christ as His Saviour just as I have. One day I’m going to meet him, and we will talk face to face for the very first time. I want all my family and loved ones to know how they can go to Heaven…how they can find peace with God.
I would like to meet you too, Emma. I hope to hear from you soon. Perhaps we should switch to email if you would like to continue writing me. I will attach my email address to the next (below) comment and then delete it afterwards for privacy’s sake.
With love,
Hannah
P.S. I wasn’t able to go to church on Sunday because I am sick, but last night I listened to my dad’s message, entitled “De Glorie van God.” If you want to know what I truly believe and why I believe it, then I urge you to listen to this sermon (it is in Dutch). It is very, very interesting! Go to this link: ( http://ankerbaptisten.nl ) which is our church’s website. On the left you will see a bunch of tabs. Go to “Video-preken,” and the message “De Glorie van God” will be one of the top sermons on the page. The date will be 28-9-08.
I really hope you will listen to it! I look forward to hearing from you, Emma.
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