Well, this morning I was praying about some things, and then I began contemplating the events of this year--2008. And I thought back on years gone by. Major events of those years stick out in my mind.
2003 was a year of sorrow and mourning. Oma died of cancer in January. We were in the process of keeping two churches going. And other things were playing in the background. The devil was on us like white on rice, trying to tear our family apart. There were honestly times when I didn’t think our family was going to pull through. One thing I know; Satan hates the family and will do anything to destroy it. Only by God’s grace did we survive those months.
2004 was a year of slow healing.
2005 was a year that has personal significance to me. My dad’s right-hand man, who I loved and respected, succumbed to the world, the flesh, and the devil. It was a heart- breaking time for me. I never saw somebody so close to me run so far from God. On March 16th of that year I vowed to God that I would never do that. I would rather be laid up in a hospital bed than be out having “fun” in the world. (Psalm 84:10) I surrendered to God’s will for my life…to be whatever He wanted, wherever He wanted, whenever He wanted. Then on May 12th, God gave me a wonderful promise from Psalm 84. I would hold God to His Word. He could provide the need I couldn’t imagine ever being fulfilled. 2005, the year of surrender and promise. Then came the test…
2006 was a year of great testing for me. I turned 18 in January, and it seemed like the God’s “promise” had arrived. I thought I had met and was being courted by my future husband. Everything seemed perfect. Little did I realize he was a counterfeit. He was the opposite of everything my parents and I thought he was. We were caught in a spiritual blizzard, unable to see the grave dangers that lay ahead. But then God calmed the storm, and His glorious light shone through our darkness. The Lord spared me from a life of misery. Now, looking back, my heart is filled with gratitude to God for His great grace. Those were difficult months that followed. At first I accepted it. After a short time of rebellion in my heart, God gave me deliverance on October 10th, and I could be glad. Glad that I had learned a hard lesson. Glad that He had pulled me from the miry clay and set my feet on solid ground. I’m reminded of Jesus. After His baptism, He endured great temptation in the wilderness. After my surrender to God, I had to be tested to see what I was made of. Did I really mean what I had promised the Lord? Would I quit when it seemed like God had dangled my long-awaited “best friend” in front of me only to take him away? Would I become bitter or pick up the broke pieces of my heart and press on? I wish all that hadn’t happened. It would have been easier to skip over that time. But God worked a bad situation together for good (Romans 8:28) and grew me emotionally and spiritually.
It was also in the beginning of the year 2006 that my health began deteriorating (Candida). A girl who knew no lack of energy was suddenly realizing what it was like to have none. God was teaching me to lean hard on Him. He was my strength. Would I give up? It seemed that just as I surrendered to God, He was steadily removing everything that was important to me. I didn’t understand it then, but God is giving me glimpses of all those unanswered “why’s.” Why He does the things He does. There are many things I don’t understand. There are things I won’t fully comprehend until I reach Heaven. Though I sometimes droop with exhaustion (today is one such day), I know in my heart why God lets me feel this way. He is teaching a girl who is naturally an uncompassionate person to have compassion on others. If I ever hope to be effective in the fulltime Christian ministry, I have to have compassion, and how else can I learn compassion than by suffering myself so I can understand those who are suffering? Now I can cry as I pray for those who are dealing with pain, because I know that pain myself. Perhaps if I wasn’t such a stubborn person God wouldn’t have to deal with me in such severe ways. But I’m glad He does. He is a good father…and He’s training me to be a good daughter.
2007 was a year of recuperation for me. On March 1st we got home from our 5-and-a-half-month stay in the States, and I plunged into our ministry in Holland. Earlier I had been resisting God as He gently nudged me to start playing the piano for our church fulltime. Now I was ready to comply. I was ready to give everything I had. The Lord taught me many things about the ministry in 2007 as we saw multitudes of people come and go through the church, including a girl I counted as one of my best friends, and as we dealt with hard blows from the enemy, which would continue on into 2008...
2008 How can I describe 2008? This has been a year of losses and gains we could have never imagined. As far as the church…In the beginning of the year we saw yet another crowd of people leave. I was sad to see them go for them, not for the church. Anybody in the ministry knows that “housecleaning” is a good thing. If people aren’t willing to follow God, then they shouldn’t be polluting the church with their bad spirits. I don’t mean to sound calloused or bitter; that’s just the way it is. It’s one of the unpleasant realizations of the ministry. In August we lost one of our deacons, my dad’s right-hand man, who was also my dad’s fill-in preacher when we went to the States. We saw it coming, but it was still a shock. But I can still say that God knew what He was doing. He has replaced those who left with faithful, obedient, tithing people who are growing in the Lord. It’s a blessing to see!
Those were the losses and gains in our ministry. As far as our personal lives, this year has been…wonderful!!! In April we had Bro. Buddy Maynard come visit us for a few days. My parents have known Bro. Buddy for years. Their church supports us, and we support their boys’ home. As I grew up we always listened to their music, the “Superman” song that Bro. Buddy sings being one of my favorites. We had a blessed time with Bro. Buddy, and he went right home and made plans to bring his family over to meet us. We had regular contact for several months, and then the whole Maynard family came to visit in the middle of October. We got a glimpse of Heaven as we fellowshipped and talked about the Lord. The visit was wonderful. I think the mutual feeling between our families is “where have you been all this time?” God knows the reason; we’re just glad we know each other now. Looking back over this year I would have to say that having the Maynards come into our lives has been that unimaginable gain…the “exceeding abundantly” of Ephesians 3:20. After 13 long years of loneliness, I can say it was worth the wait to find friends as dear as the Maynards.
How could I describe this year? After great hardship, the Lord gave us hope. We experienced the loving caresses of God’s hand. Medicine for the soul. Cool water for weary feet and the upholding of heavy hands that hang down. What word can I find to describe this year? It was a year of conflict and sweet comfort.
What can I say? Bless God! “I will extol thee, my God, O king; and I will bless thy name for ever and ever.” Psalm 145:1
This afternoon I was relaxing in the rocking chair in our living room after having cleaned the house. Upstairs I heard my brother playing music. The sweet voice of Susan McGill came drifting down to greet my ears. “Some through the waters, some through the flood, Some through the fire, but all through the blood; Some through great sorrow, but God gives a song, In the night season and all the day long.” I sat there wracking my brain trying to figure out the title of the song. “God Leads Us Along.” I got on cyber hymnal and read the verses of that song. It was soothing to my soul.
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God Leads Us Along
In shady, green pastures, so rich and so sweet,
God leads His dear children along;
Where the water’s cool flow bathes the weary one’s feet,
God leads His dear children along.
Refrain:
Some through the waters, some through the flood,
Refrain:
Some through the waters, some through the flood,
Some through the fire, but all through the blood;
Some through great sorrow, but God gives a song,
In the night season and all the day long.
Sometimes on the mount where the sun shines so bright,
God leads His dear children along;
Sometimes in the valley, in darkest of night,
God leads His dear children along.
Though sorrows befall us and evils oppose,
God leads His dear children along;
Through grace we can conquer, defeat all our foes,
God leads His dear children along.
Away from the mire, and away from the clay,
God leads His dear children along;
Away up in glory, eternity’s day,
God leads His dear children along.
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2009? Though each year has held unexpected joys and sorrows, one thing has always been the same. God has led us along. He never deserted us. I don’t know what awaits us in 2009, but we can be sure God will lead us along. Over the mountains and through the valleys. In the sunshine and through the blackness of night. God will lead us along.
Happy New Year!
May God bless in 2009!
Only fear the LORD, and serve him in truth with all your heart:
for consider how great things he hath done for you.
1 Samuel 12:24
1 comment:
Great post! The ups and downs are sure not always fun, but in the end, I wouldn't trade what I've been through for the world...the Lord sure is good to us! :)
Love your bro,
Clay
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