Another Goodbye in God's Plan

4-26-2010

Russell & I left our honeymoon a day early

so we could meet my parents in Atlanta before they flew out to Holland.

We arrived there before Bro. Buddy and Aaron, who were driving my family up from FL. Russell wanted to cool off in the pool, so I watched "Leviathan" (he earned that name during our water fun at the pond) as he swam. I relaxed in the meantime.

There's the man I love!

Yes, I was holding his ring for him while he went swimming because he was afraid it would come off. Now you know I'm his wife--I'm holding his things for him! =D

Russell--inside his wedding ring!

There is no such thing as being bored when you have an imagination...and a camera!

My ring fits inside Russell's with room to spare.

It was so nice to see my family again! We went out for dinner---Ruby Tuesday. We love their salad bar!

We had fun in the hotel swimming pool, which we had all to ourselves!

Thank God for my brother and sister! I didn't realize then how much I would miss them!

Russell didn't want to be left out. We had a nice evening together. I loved being with my siblings and hubby!

4-27-2010

Eating at Cracker Barrel is a tradition. It's nice to know that some things don't change.

Sister and brother in-law....finally!

The last picture of me with my family. I hate goodbye pictures.

I can't even say how hard it was to watch my family walk away. I wouldn't wish that kind of sick feeling on anybody. Russell held me tight...my eyes stayed fastened on my family as if they were my only lifeline. It was hard to breathe. I begged God for one last look...one last glance at their dear familiar faces...and then they were swallowed up by the vast waves of humanity. There was no longer a reason to stay. There was nothing to do but return to our empty hotel room.

I cried most of the way home. There was such an emptiness inside. I glanced down into the side pocket in the door of the truck and saw this flower as the evening sunlight hit it like a spotlight---the lily Mrs. Chris gave Mom the day before as they left the property. It already looked bad yesterday when Bro. Buddy and Aaron pulled into Atlanta with my family, but now it looked even worse, all crumpled up and torn as it was. I thought to myself that that orange lily and I had something in common--we were both weak and frail and so dependent. Normally I hate lilies--they remind me of death--but I was emotionally attached to this lily, because it was a going-away present, and Mom had held it in her hands. Before going up to our room I placed the lily in my bottled water in the truck. I never expected it to live, but all I could do was hope. That lily was my last bit of hope when I felt so hopeless.

Later that day we went to a huge mall where Russell had an appointment to have his iphone screen repaired. I walked around like a zombee and Russell lovingly led me by the hand. He bought me little pink Crocks just like Mrs. Chris bought for Lydia while we were away on our honeymoon. I loved them after trying Lydia's on. Russell noted that I was a little happier after I slipped the shoes on my feet and continued walking around the mall. I think it did me good to know my dear little sister and I had the exact same shoes, though our feet travelled in opposite directions, farther and farther from each other.

I guess you can tell in this picture how swollen my eyes were from crying.

We ate dinner in the food court of the mall. The humus veggie wrap I ordered was heavenly!!! I wrote down the ingredients so I could make them once we got home.

God blessed me! My family could have left me in an almost-foreign place for other reasons---like because I was going to college. Then my situation would have been lonely indeed!!! But God was good to me and let it be because my dad had handed me into the care of another loving man, so much like himself. Growing up, Dad was always my encourager when I was sad. Russell is so much the same in that when I am down he goes beyond his own feelings (he was also very sad to see my family leave) to pick me up emotionally and make me happy. I love my hubby! The Lord has made us one in more ways than this curly fry is doing! =)

This is an excerpt from my journal on April 27, 2010:

"As we were driving, my mind was going as I saw plane after plane taking off into the beautiful evening sky. Even if I don't like God's will there is a decided rightness about it that is unarguable. I was remembering Holland. I never liked living there, but now I'm in the U.S. and I miss it. I didn't like Holland, but God made me content to stay--there was a rightness about it, even though I didn't like it at the time. Now I am with Russell and my family is flying away from me--and I don't like it at all--but there is a rightness that I cannot deny. That must be the true test of God's will--being where I don't want to be and yet knowing a distinct inner peace that comes from a source other than ME. And that is just more proof of the fact that the world and Christianity are on opposite tracks. The world says to do everything that feels good, and the results are a bad feeling. God says to do what you don't feel like doing and He gives joy in doing so."

Another goodbye in God's plan...

Even when I don't like God's will there is a rightness about it that is unarguable.